Another Fine Moss

 Have you heard about our Saviour, alien hivemind from beyond the stars?

Knockromundout Grand Final: Chaos Helots vs Corpse Grinders

 

Is it, Jarri? Is it time yet?

It certainly is, Blaargh - Juves and droogs, hold on to your wild snake and shoot those stubbers in the air, let's hear a big Underhive welcome to the first Necromunda Knockout Grand Final. Have we got a battle for you tonight! Let's meet the teams!

Knockramunda Semifinal: Corpse Grinder Cult vs Cawdor

Jarri, I'm more jittery than a juve on flects! 

It might just be our shared metabolism, Blaargh, but I feel the tension too. It's the second and final semi-final night, Hivers, and we're out in the wastes!

KnockRat SemiFinal: Escher vs Chaos Helot Cults

Ahey heidi-halloooo, Hivers! You're wickedly welcome to the very first Semi-Final - and we're down on the farm!

KnockRat Quarter Final: Slave Ogryns vs Cawdor

 ...which is why you need to remove the poison glands before you stew it, otherwise you end up paralysed. 

Sorry to interrupt you there, Granny Bilgeputter, and thanks for keeping the listeners entertained during that short hiatus. But we're back, live at tonight's arena for the final KnockRat quarter-final!  

KnockRat Quarter Final: Goliaths vs Chaos Helot Cult

 My eyes! What's happening to my eyes? They burn!

Calm down, Blaargh - it's just the radioactive glare of dead skies. Yes, we're outside! Welcome to the ash wastes, violence fans, for a very special quarter final match in this, the KnockRat tournament. 

KnockRat Quarter Final: Corpse Grinders vs Genestealer Cult

 

Ancient terran legends told of a mechanical saviour, one who theorised time travel was possible in his own lifetime and leaped into a primitive quantum portal to save mankind. Rejected by the very folk he came to save, they murdered him for crimes he didn't commit. But as he himself foretold, death alone would not hold him - so if his disciples had a problem, if they could find him, and if they could wait three days, he'd be back. 

Blaargh, name that prehistorical religious icon!

KnockRat Quarter Final: Escher vs Outcasts

 

There it is, Blaargh, our first glimpse of the fabled KnockRat Trophy!

Is that a real ersatzium crystal, Jarri?

It certainly is - fifteen credits' worth of the finest plastite gemstone available at the trading post!

KnockRat Qualifier: Goliaths vs Venators

And we're back! 

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water!

Nobody thought that, Blaargh, and it's certainly not water - this is Necromunda! Welcome back, violence fans, it's been a long spring. The annual carnibou migration is behind us now, and with our stadium finally free of flesh-eating mutant deer, it's time for some summer fun with our summer guns. I'm Jarribix Clabbs, the scab with the gab, and with me as ever is Blaargh the Garrulous Goitre. What are we here for tonight, Blaargh?

N-N-N-KnockRat!

KnockRat Qualifier: Spyrer Hunting Team vs Slave Ogryns - Fight!

Blaargh here, KnockRatters! Jarri's out this week, he caught the hyperleprosy that's been doing the rounds. Doc says he'll have him right as rain soon as he gets creds, so scabbedy-roo, I've bet all our savings on tonight's match!

KnockRat Qualifier: Corpse Grinder Cult vs Malstrain Brood - Fight!

Get your snacks ready, Underhivers, and top up your drinking tubes. Jarribix Klabbs here, and it's time for a meaty smackdown! With me tonight is the thing on my neck - say hello, Blaargh!

KnockRat Qualifier: Orlocks vs Chaos Helot Cult - Fight!

The gantries are lighting up, the bulkheads are grinding open and blood is already being spilled in the locker rooms. It must be Knockramundout Time!

KnockRat Qualifier: Ironhead Squats vs Cawdor - Fight!

What time is it? Say it with me, violence fans, it's...

Knockramundout Time!

KnockRat Qualifier: Delaque vs Genestealer Cults: Fight!

 

...which is why they grade it as meat rather than slurry. And we're back! If you're just joining us, this is me, Jarribix Klabbs...

...and a big rowdy hey helloooo from me, Blaargh the Boil!

KnockRat Qualifier - Palanite Patrol vs Outcast Scum: Fight!

 

Welcome back, violence fans! The atmosphere in tonight's arena is electric and I don't mean just from the faulty wiring. It's the second round of the KnockRat, and boy howdy, have we got a match for you!

KnockRaT Qualifier - Escher v Van Saar - Fight!

 Helloooooooo violence fans! And welcome to the opening rounds of the inaugural KnockRamundout Tournament, the KnockRaT, with me, Jarribix Klabbs, the scavvy with the savvy!

It's A Knockromundout!

 Somehow, I've managed to collect sixteen gangs' worth of Necromunda. There is only one sensible thing to do - make them fight to the death in an arena to determine the ultimate victor. 

Trapped!

The final dark days of the Delaque are upon them. 

Gunfire Night

November - a good month to finish things!

Bar Gain Basement

So the Low Bar was closed for renovation. Rebuilding, really, if you wanted to be accurate, since the Saints of Detritus had redistributed most of the place across a half a hive dome. Anyone who wanted a hit of Wild Snake had to stand in line outside Father von Kurtz's Communion Kitchen and say a prayer for their soul. Nobody was happy about it, but unhappiness doesn't get you drunk, so muttering a Throne Hail seemed better than nothing. 

The Delaque weren't taking it lying down, of course. The shifty S.O.B.s threw a few credits around, paid people to look elsewhere, and as soon as the line cleared, they started shooting.