Chaos daemons, my old friends:
Hand in hand we fight again.
From the forests of athel loren,
Comes Bretonnians and Elf men;
And Slaaneshi forces marched on to hear cries,
Someone dies,
No more the sound of silence.
Chaos moves for the knights of grail
Magic leaves us and all spells fail
In fiends we trust combat in our flanks
Forgetting that knights armour built like tanks
When the lances hit the daemons they did fall
Damn you all!
But prince resound with defiance
Chariot the forest would ignore
To charge: need ten, maybe more
But luck was on side as I move in
Waywatchers caught in wheels, now no skin
Crashing through into peasants (no one cares)
More knights prepares,
To crash in with elf guidance.
"Challenge" yells mounted herald
Pal'din accepts and is impaled
Buying time for others to move in
With all their might its now a chaos win
Foes on the right flank of the army are no more
This is war -
But few left see this violence
Sorceror lord too late sees,
The dryads hiding in the trees.
He must flee and not face them,
Knights chase him to condemn
And the last fight sends more knights to et'rnal rest
So chaos best!
Back to the sound of silence.
Sunday, 12 January 2014
Saturday, 11 January 2014
White Dwarf No More
The news is humming across the webway: after 37 years and nearly 400 issues, the monthly White Dwarf is to end.
 |
| All remaining copies will be gathered up and pulped by a Cave Troll. |
If the scuttlebutt is true, it will be replaced by a weekly magazine with the latest releases and articles (a bit like a website, it you printed it out and updated it once a week); and a monthly catalogue-type publication called 'Warhammer Visions' (because why would you keep an established and beloved name like 'White Dwarf', when you could replace it with something from a corporate mission statement).
The total costs of the 4 x weekly edition are said to be double that of the current magazine, but I really can't see Games Workshop jacking up the price by 100% for a near-identical product...
Anyway, let us remember the good times...
Saturday, 4 January 2014
A 4000pt battle Warriors and Skaven vs Daemons and Dark Elves
These flock covered mountains,
are a death bed for me.
As my ally is the skaven:
who always hate me.
Today though no rules for this,
but our en'mies fight the same;
so Daemons and Dark elves fight brothers in arms.
Through ranks of Nurgle's offerings
Skaven's warpfire.
But rodents stay back cowardly
as my warriors march on.
And though my trolls are a horde:
they still fear and run.
Now rats dont desert me my brothers in arms!
Cannons hit the dark elves' shrine,
skullcrushers charge the front -
And the witch elves we all feared:
just a memory to us all!
Now the game's to gone to hell...
most my units are dead.
and the gray seers keeps plaguing
whilst I keep foes at bay
but its not enough to fell those beasts,
before my lord falls to sword -
still seemed I won though with my brothers in arms.
are a death bed for me.
As my ally is the skaven:
who always hate me.
Today though no rules for this,
but our en'mies fight the same;
so Daemons and Dark elves fight brothers in arms.
Through ranks of Nurgle's offerings
Skaven's warpfire.
But rodents stay back cowardly
as my warriors march on.
And though my trolls are a horde:
they still fear and run.
Now rats dont desert me my brothers in arms!
Cannons hit the dark elves' shrine,
skullcrushers charge the front -
And the witch elves we all feared:
just a memory to us all!
Now the game's to gone to hell...
most my units are dead.
and the gray seers keeps plaguing
whilst I keep foes at bay
but its not enough to fell those beasts,
before my lord falls to sword -
still seemed I won though with my brothers in arms.
Friday, 3 January 2014
A 3000pt battle Warriors vs Vampires
Twas the night before New Year and the board was still out;
so the warriors where stirring, for a new bout!
Leofa pulled vampires from out of their crypt,
and twelve seen in battle whilst red wine was sipped.
Was Nurgle who smiled and said "children" go first:
chaos threatened as vampires yell "do your worst!"
From the flanks a mage on magic carpet would ride,
casting spells (behind daemon prince wings she did hide).
Warriors moved forward themselves they use as bait,
snarling and snorting unaware of their fate.
Facing off, Heinrich Kemmler yelling "fear me all!"
Then the git smiled and became ethereal!
The undead moved forward with unusual speed,
Both units roll five 'n six: just what they need!
The undead horde charge as the rot beasts show fear:
turning tail they did run, cut down from the rear.
The crypt ghouls move forward, as the grave guard do pause;
mutated forsaken hold to extend their claws.
when Seafang drops Wulfrik and friends on north shore
Skellies and zombies turn round: not to ignore...
Slaughterbrute comes, empowered by daemon prince skill,
but not enough to prevent the vampire lord's kill.
Forsaken fight back; and the ghoul poison flows -
and Kemmler's grasp on the combat did close!
A Terrorgeist screams as marauders disembark,
seven fall to the sound before making their mark.
Not beaten, they charge into skeletal ranks,
on zombies they eye - as they expose flanks.
The wanderer wonders what horrors ahead,
ne'er before had he seen such lucky undead.
One more fight was failed with fear in his eyes,
this army, this lord, Kas began to despise!
The prince charges forward to face spectral horse;
at end: one still stands for Leofa of course!
So no overrun into massive zombie block,
for warriors its between hard place and rock!
As undead gain wounds and they recast their spells,
more warriors of chaos do bid their farewells.
Throwing caution to wind 6 dice mage would roll,
for Leofa to laugh "Ta Da! dispel scroll!"
The warriors of Nurgle now hide behind wall,
expecting their complete and utter downfall.
One last trick for the mage who is never outdone
lining up the two hordes - take that: purple sun!
With grave guard beaten and Krell sent to hell
if only the last warrior could Kemmler as well;
but vampires were on for a fight till the death
At 5 in the morn chaos took its last breath!
so the warriors where stirring, for a new bout!
Leofa pulled vampires from out of their crypt,
and twelve seen in battle whilst red wine was sipped.
Was Nurgle who smiled and said "children" go first:
chaos threatened as vampires yell "do your worst!"
From the flanks a mage on magic carpet would ride,
casting spells (behind daemon prince wings she did hide).
Warriors moved forward themselves they use as bait,
snarling and snorting unaware of their fate.
Facing off, Heinrich Kemmler yelling "fear me all!"
Then the git smiled and became ethereal!
The undead moved forward with unusual speed,
Both units roll five 'n six: just what they need!
The undead horde charge as the rot beasts show fear:
turning tail they did run, cut down from the rear.
The crypt ghouls move forward, as the grave guard do pause;
mutated forsaken hold to extend their claws.
when Seafang drops Wulfrik and friends on north shore
Skellies and zombies turn round: not to ignore...
Slaughterbrute comes, empowered by daemon prince skill,
but not enough to prevent the vampire lord's kill.
Forsaken fight back; and the ghoul poison flows -
and Kemmler's grasp on the combat did close!
A Terrorgeist screams as marauders disembark,
seven fall to the sound before making their mark.
Not beaten, they charge into skeletal ranks,
on zombies they eye - as they expose flanks.
The wanderer wonders what horrors ahead,
ne'er before had he seen such lucky undead.
One more fight was failed with fear in his eyes,
this army, this lord, Kas began to despise!
The prince charges forward to face spectral horse;
at end: one still stands for Leofa of course!
So no overrun into massive zombie block,
for warriors its between hard place and rock!
As undead gain wounds and they recast their spells,
more warriors of chaos do bid their farewells.
Throwing caution to wind 6 dice mage would roll,
for Leofa to laugh "Ta Da! dispel scroll!"
The warriors of Nurgle now hide behind wall,
expecting their complete and utter downfall.
One last trick for the mage who is never outdone
lining up the two hordes - take that: purple sun!
With grave guard beaten and Krell sent to hell
if only the last warrior could Kemmler as well;
but vampires were on for a fight till the death
At 5 in the morn chaos took its last breath!
Tuesday, 31 December 2013
Adeste Astartes
+++Begin Transmission+++
Encryption Level - Inquisitorial
Authorised: Inq. Kris Cringdark
Hereticus Santanicus
Classified and Secure under Project Jingle
Watchword: In the Mince Pieness of the Festive Season, There is Only Mulling Spice
O come all ye Space Wolves
Crimson Fists and Fire Hawks
Come ye, o come ye
To Ultramar
Bring lots of boltguns
And your power armour
We'll blow up lots of xenos
We'll blow up lots of xenos
We'll blow up lots of xenos
Because we can
Blood or Dark Angels
Iron Hands, Lamentors
Maybe the Grey Knights
Or a Deathwatch Team
Even obscure ones
Like the Viper Legion
Not the Sons of Horus
Or other filthy traitors
Don't talk about those bastards
Just blow them up
Retake morale checks
Reroll all our misses
See how we shrug off hits
With armour saves
Eye of Terror?
More like Eye of Schmerror.
But we're not overpowered
No we're not overpowered
We're so not overpowered
You're just a noob
+++Transmission ends+++
Encryption Level - Inquisitorial
Authorised: Inq. Kris Cringdark
Hereticus Santanicus
Classified and Secure under Project Jingle
Watchword: In the Mince Pieness of the Festive Season, There is Only Mulling Spice
O come all ye Space Wolves
Crimson Fists and Fire Hawks
Come ye, o come ye
To Ultramar
Bring lots of boltguns
And your power armour
We'll blow up lots of xenos
We'll blow up lots of xenos
We'll blow up lots of xenos
Because we can
Blood or Dark Angels
Iron Hands, Lamentors
Maybe the Grey Knights
Or a Deathwatch Team
Even obscure ones
Like the Viper Legion
Not the Sons of Horus
Or other filthy traitors
Don't talk about those bastards
Just blow them up
Retake morale checks
Reroll all our misses
See how we shrug off hits
With armour saves
Eye of Terror?
More like Eye of Schmerror.
But we're not overpowered
No we're not overpowered
We're so not overpowered
You're just a noob
+++Transmission ends+++
Bretonnia vs Nurgle: The Noble Rot
The second battle I fought with my borrowed Deamons of Nurgle army was against General East's newly-acquired Bretonnians. Having been comprehensively thumped in the first game against General Kasfunatu, I would surely have racked up enough experience to defeat my old nemesis...
(usual disclaimer: this report is my best recollection, although I seem to have misplaced a couple of turns. This game did go the full six, but there was some hesitant manoeuvring that time has since erased)
 |
| Shut up, Magic 8-Ball |
Daemons of Chaos (Nurgle)
- Daemon Prince of Nurgle (General, Level 3)
- Herald of Nurgle (BSB, Lv 1)
- Epidemius, Tallyman of Nurgle
- 27 Plaguebearers
- Beast of Nurgle
- Beast of Nurgle
- Beast of Nurgle
- 3 Plague Drones
Bretonnians
- Paladin (General, some kind of Killing Blow skill)
- Paladin (BSB, some kind of Multiple Wound skill)
- Damsel, (Lv4 Lore of Heavens)
- Damsel, (Lv2 Lore of Beasts)
- 7 Knights of the Realm (containing 1 Paladin, 1 Damsel and full command)
- 7 Knights of the Realm (containing 1 Paladin, 1 Damsel and full command)
- 6 Knights Errant
- 20 Peasant Bowmen
- 1 Trebuchet
Sunday, 22 December 2013
Höbbit
Another late battle report, this. So some things that should not have been forgotten won't be lost, etc etc.
While General Kas was over in the summer, we cracked open The Hobbit for an evening's entertainment. Not the film! That would have made entertainment impossible.
Masters of the tabletop as we are, we were able to fit in one round of each of the introductory scenarios that come with the rules. These gradually introduce variant weapon rules, special actions, morale, magic and so on. They aren't bad, although some of them seem to have a distinct bias in how they play out.
Kasfunatu took the roles of Thorin and Company throughout; I stayed on my usual side of the Good/Evil divide and took Goblins.
No photos or maps for this, I'm afraid, you'll have to use the power of your imaginations. I was recently reminded how much we do that in our hobby anyway. During a game of George R R Martin's A Game Of Thrones The Board Game (2nd Edition) - the title is at least a quarter of the boxed weight - we were having a fierce political debate on who would be the next holder of the Iron Throne.
"It's just a piece of cardboard," observed one player, a novice to the whole board games thing. He went on to lose, obviously.
While General Kas was over in the summer, we cracked open The Hobbit for an evening's entertainment. Not the film! That would have made entertainment impossible.
Masters of the tabletop as we are, we were able to fit in one round of each of the introductory scenarios that come with the rules. These gradually introduce variant weapon rules, special actions, morale, magic and so on. They aren't bad, although some of them seem to have a distinct bias in how they play out.
Kasfunatu took the roles of Thorin and Company throughout; I stayed on my usual side of the Good/Evil divide and took Goblins.
No photos or maps for this, I'm afraid, you'll have to use the power of your imaginations. I was recently reminded how much we do that in our hobby anyway. During a game of George R R Martin's A Game Of Thrones The Board Game (2nd Edition) - the title is at least a quarter of the boxed weight - we were having a fierce political debate on who would be the next holder of the Iron Throne.
"It's just a piece of cardboard," observed one player, a novice to the whole board games thing. He went on to lose, obviously.
Friday, 20 December 2013
Nurgle vs Nurgle: Bored of the Flies
It's that time of year when we all delight in seeing a jolly fat man who brings gifts for all.
Paying a visit on Casa Kasfunatu, I partook in a couple of OffBoot games with Generals Kasfunatu and East (and my God, was it really January when I last did that?). Wanting to branch out from my traditional army selection, I was fortunate enough to be loaned a Daemon army to field.
I took the Nurgle faction, as they're my Chaos god of choice (and not because I hear they make the hardest list).
Facing them was General Kasfunatu with his newly-acquired Warriors of Chaos army, the core of which were Warriors of Nurgle - so it was to be a dust-up at the Weightwatchers club.
 |
| If you think that's disgusting, wait until Slaanesh comes down the chimney, |
Paying a visit on Casa Kasfunatu, I partook in a couple of OffBoot games with Generals Kasfunatu and East (and my God, was it really January when I last did that?). Wanting to branch out from my traditional army selection, I was fortunate enough to be loaned a Daemon army to field.
I took the Nurgle faction, as they're my Chaos god of choice (and not because I hear they make the hardest list).
Daemons of Chaos (Nurgle)
- Daemon Prince of Nurgle (General, Level 3)
- Herald of Nurgle (BSB, Lv 1)
- Epidemius, Tallyman of Nurgle
- 27 Plaguebearers
- Beast of Nurgle
- Beast of Nurgle
- Beast of Nurgle
- 3 Plague Drones
Facing them was General Kasfunatu with his newly-acquired Warriors of Chaos army, the core of which were Warriors of Nurgle - so it was to be a dust-up at the Weightwatchers club.
Warriors of Chaos
- Chaos Warrior Lord (General)
- Herald of Slaanesh (BSB, Hellstrider)
- Festus the Leechlord
- 16 Warriors of Chaos (Nurgle)
- 5 Hellstriders
- 5 Chaos Hounds
- 5 Chaos Hounds
- Chimera
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