The Glorious Tenth: Orcs & Goblins vs Empire - Warhammer Fantasy Battle

Anniversary time! Ten years ago today, we launched this humble hobby blog with the oft-asked question, "What is a Woffboot?"

To celebrate the occasion, we're bringing our the Warhammer Fantasy Battle armies that began this adventure - now this is a WoffBoot!

WoffBoot The Movie II: Woff Harder

Our most recent 8th Ed battle was last November (who says we're not keeping the flame alive?) and so Kraken and I decided to give the old rank n' flank an airing...

We played 1600pt Goblins vs Dwarfs, narrated as tradition dictates by Brother 'Peachy' Toliver Carnehan and Brother Daniel 'Danny' Dravot, former Gunnery Sergeants in the Queen’s own Royal Loyal Light Infantry.

It was a fun battle - and I got to debut my freshly-painted Grom the Paunch!

WoffBoot: The Movie!

Having penned over 80 battle reports, we thought we'd have a try at making a video report. But, of course, we couldn't just make any old video...

So here we have a 2500 pt battle between Empire and Orcs & Goblins, as narrated by Brother 'Peachy' Toliver Carnehan and Brother Daniel 'Danny' Dravot, former Gunnery Sergeants in the Queen’s own Royal Loyal Light Infantry.

It was a fun battle - the losses were appalling (and so were the accents!)

War of the Triple Crown: Chaos Civil War

"Faster, you imbecile! The skulls won't load themselves!" Cogar snarled.

War of the Triple Crown: Undead Civil War

"They've failed!" The grey-skinned, cracked face continued to peer into a smoky ball of magical aether, the hint of a smile appeared on his lips revealing one cracked fang. Sensing the question, the whispered voice continued:

The Kinslaying: Wood Elves vs Host of the Eternity King

Round 4: versus Host of the Eternity King

My final battle of the WoffBoot was an elven civil war between my Wood Elves and a HotEK list of mostly Dark Elves, supported by a Frostheart and led by Allarielle, Incarnate of Life.

It was commanded by Kasfunatu, who I am very good at losing to in these tournaments, but I went in confident that I had a plan. Unfortunately, I don't think it was a good plan.

Armies

Host of the Eternity King

• Alarielle, Incarnate of Life
• SorceressLv 1 Shadow, Dispel Scroll, Ironcurse Icon, dark steed
• 14 x Darkshards
  Full command, Flaming Banner, shields
• 9 x Dark Riders
  Musician, Repeater crossbows, shields
• 5 x Doomfire Warlocks
• 1 x Frostheart Phoenix
• 1 x War Hydra

Fear Not, Till Birnam Wood Do Come: Wood Elves vs Warriors of Chaos

Round 3: versus Warriors of Chaos

Game 3 saw me face off my old SkypeBoot sparring partner Kraken, with the added virtue of both of us being in the same room.

Usually when my Wood Elves face his Warriors of Chaos, he result is an arrow-filled heap of carnage, but with a fast army led by Archaon, I knew I was in for a game.

I was expecting a good game, and was not about to be disappointed. It proved to be the kind of game that gets you hooked on Warhammer: six action-packed turns of changing fortunes and improbable dice rolls.

On more than one occasion I found myself running to the gamers in the adjoining room, not for rules queries, but just to shout, 'can you believe this just happened?'

Armies

Warriors of Chaos

• Archaon, The EverchosenLore of Metal
• Exalted Champion (BSB)
  Mark of Nurgle, Halberd, Scaly Skin and Hideous Visage
• 14 x Warriors of Chaos
  Shields, Full Command, Mark of Nurgle
• 1 x Chaos Chariot
  Mark of Khorne
• 5 x Marauder Horsemen
  Full Command, Mark of Slaanesh, Shields, Throwing Axes, Spears
• 5 x Chaos Knights
  Full Command, The Swords of Chaos, Ensorcelled Weapons

Pass The Cheese: Wood Elves vs Skaven

Round 2: versus Skaven

This was actually versus United Legions of the Everchosen (to gain Reign of Chaos effects - I wasn't exaggerating about the cheese), but was, in reality, an all-ratmen army with a Verminlord special character.

Facing a big horde of low-toughness critters, I went into this battle with a confidence that reflected my ignorance of the Skaven army book.

Armies

The Grand Legion of the Everchosen - Skaven

The Abomination is a proxy Verminlord
The Rat Ogres are proxy Stormfiends
The Jezzail is a proxy Ratling Gun
The Skullcannon is a proxy Warp Lightning Cannon
The Clanrats are proxy Stormvermin
The Warlord, to be fair, is a Warlord.

• Warlord
• Verminlord Deceiver
• Chieftain (BSB)
• Warlock Engineer
• 37 x Stormvermin
• 1 x Ratling Gun
• 1 x Warp Lightning Cannon
• 3 x Stormfiends

And The Greatest Of These Is Charioty: Wood Elves vs Tomb Kings

As the dust settles on WoffBoot IX, it's time for the general thoughts of the generals. While I'll be adding my own naval-gazing in due time, I'll first post all the battle reports.

Not only did I remember to take photos for every battle (a rarity), but I also had the advantage of a long and delayed train journey home, which meant I could write them all up from fresh memory.

Round 1: versus Tomb Kings

Armies

Tomb Kings

• Tomb Prince
• Liche Priest
• 19 x Skeleton Archers
• 5 x Skeleton Chariots
• 3 x Necropolis Knights
• 1 x Khemrian Warsphinx
• 1 x Casket of Souls

The Last Round: Dwarves vs Warriors of Chaos

Prologue

Josef Bugman looked around the abandoned brewhouse with an apprising eye: the pipes were in disrepair and the vats cracked by the recent attack, but the kettle was sound, the cellars intact and the water up here was good. With enough time, he could cook up a decent little beer. But time was something he no longer had. None of them did.

"Last round, lads! Get it while you can." his sergeant, Snorri Budweiserson, was serving out the company's tankard on a long trestle table. Mugs of beer on one end, rows of throwing axes on the other. He wondered which would run out first.

Bugman accepted the mug and quaffed down a mouthful of Old Legend. Snorri did the same and they both let out long, contemplative belches.

"Don't seem right to me, chief," Snorri began. "Hunting the Kazaki'dum is one thing, but why do we have to put ourselves in the middle of this fight?"

"The end is coming," said Bugman, the ale lending him farsight. "All we can do is join one fight or another."

"But why risk our lives for a tanglebeard like Stonehammer?" Snorri insisted. "We know the Kazaki'dum are being led by the survivor of Gallery #114. I heard rumour that it was no accident. They say that Stonehammer deliberately sealed the tunnel because of an argument with this Phlothos. He condemned sixteen dwarves to their deaths just to settle a feud."

"So they do say," said Bugman, walking slowly to the stone window frame. There was movement along the north end of the pass: a great horde of Kazaki'dum, accompanied by their monsters and war engines. Battle was about to be joined.

"So if this Phlothos wants revenge, I'd say Helgvist has it coming."

Bugman lined up his crossbow bolts, one after another, in a row on the window still. A huge, diseased monster on decaying leathery wings had just flapped to the front of the army and bellowed out a challenge in broken Khazalid.

"We all got it coming, laddie."

The Legend Reaches Its Height!

It's All-Skype Fight Night!

Tonight we conclude the campaign that began last October. What began as "hey, how about we write this battle as a narrative?" has blossomed, pustule-like, into a seven-part tragic odyssey of Phlothos Orgmeier, champion of Nurgle, as he defies every race in the Warhammer world to stop him.

I, Stylus, will be fielding Dwarves as the final gatekeeper to his quest.

And I, Kraken, will bring Phlothos to his final resting place, amongst the legends in the hearts and minds of a thousand a select few readers.

Totting up the points over the last six battles, it seems that I need a very solid win to come out triumphant. Tough, but not impossible...

We're playing by our usual house rules (although refinements to the magic system are moot, as you will see), but have ramped up the scale to a finale-shattering 2,000pts. We'll be using boasts, and also the addition of 'anti-boasts' to encourage both warlords to finish this in the proper style.

• Dwarf anti-boast: -100VPs if Phothos is targeted by any war machine
• Warriors of Chaos anti-boast: -100VPs if Helgvist (or his unit) is targeted by magic

Prepare to strike out the grudge!

Pass, the Ogres on the Left Hand Side: Ogre Kingdoms vs Warriors of Chaos

A Scheduling Oversight!

It's All-Skype Fight Night!

After a number of failed attempts over the last fortnight, and a memory failure on my part, Kraken and I (Kas) broke out the dice and battleboard for another EndTimes-esque battle. In a break from tradition, I will be writing in normal font, and will leave Kraken to be bold.

I certainly am Bold. It's the real-life equivalent of Stubborn. Which I also am.

This time we would be playing non-Legion lists (Ogres vs Warriors) but would be trying the (now standard) composition rules from Archaon book. 

This is a format I had experienced before. Many years ago Leofa and I had played a game of this format; affectionately referred to as "Billie"... Why you may ask? "Because we want to!" (click only for nostalgia)

Violent Tilting: Warriors of Chaos vs High Elves

No time to rewrite!
It's All-Skype Fight Night!

Is it strange to sit alone on your kitchen floor, surrounded by tiny plastic toys that are being commanded from a different country? No? Phew, I thought I might be in trouble for a moment there. 

Welcome back for the Skype Debut of both General Palafox and his High Elves, as they brave the swampy wilds of my Swedish linoleum! A simple match, with original and best 8th Ed rules and no secret boasts - just two easy-going armies beating the living kidneys out of each other in a friendly match to the bitter death. 

Marauder Dawn: Warriors of Chaos vs Empire

Prologue

Salaga contemplated the gold coins in his hand. "The Burgomeister is worried," he concluded. "He's never paid us in advance before."

The paymaster was busying himself among the mercenary regiments, freely distributing stipends and promising more if they fought hard. They'd marched a long way through the Border Princes to take this job, and it seemed their leader had doubts that they'd be marching back.

"He values our talents," Mechika looked up from slowly whetting his ceremonial knife to answer his fellow acolyte. "He pays out of respect for our master."

Salaga scowled, biting back his response. Mechika's words never revealed anything, no more than his face did. In all their travels, that cold snake had never let his mask slip, never questioned the motives of their Hierophant master. But Salaga was not deceived: both apprentices had been sent on this dangerous mission so that one might prove himself, and the other might die.

And Salaga would ensure that he alone triumphed. Once this renegade daemon had been banished back to the void, he would ensure that Mechika would follow close behind.

---

Mechika eyed his fellow acolyte, so hot with temper it might singe his topknot. Salaga had little control over his emotions; it made him powerful. And vulnerable. He would have to look after him in the coming battle, for the deamon Phlothos was not to be underestimated. If even half the stories were to be believed, this unclean one was indestructible, surviving a string of bloody encounters to emerge stronger every time.

Now Phlothos had corrupted a village of farmers and peasants. Even at this distance, Mechika could see the massive horde brandishing their wood axes and scythes, like a pack of beastmen bearing down upon them. These were indeed dark days, and it was the duty of every pupil to cast his own light against it.

"To battle, then." he nodded at Salaga and took his place among the crossbowmen.

"To battle." Salaga strode off to join the other unit of Tileans. At least they had been spared fighting in the front rank. Here, on this hill, they would be afforded some protection.

He would do his duty. And yet Mechika wondered why they had been sent here, to such a remote corner, to confront a daemon who was already leaving their lands.

And then it occurred to him that perhaps their master, wise as ever, had devised a means of ridding himself of two ambitious apprentices at one stroke.

Let All Wrongs be put Right!

It's All-Skype Fight Night!

As the Warhammer World is pitched into the writers' bin at GW, the epic journey of Phlothos is almost at its shattering conclusion! Tonight, having ascended to Daemonhood but lost his entire warband in the process, he's up against the stalwart steel of the Empire. Can he reach his final goal and extract vengeance on the dwarves? Or will these puny mortals thwart his schemes?

I alone, Kraken, shall chronicle Phlothos's deeds...

And I, Stylus, will once again captain the revolving-door of opposing armies - this time it's The Empire! (in the guise of greedy Dogs of War, bless 'em)

We're playing another of our variant magic phase rules, this time using standard 8th Ed magic rules but with End Times spell selection - so everybody knows everything, but has much less power to cast it with.

Say Hello To My Little Friends: Legions of Chaos vs Undead Legions

I'm a Loremaster (Light)!
It's All-Skype Fight Night!

March already? Well, time for a skype battle, and no mistake. With the End Times verging on actually ending, what better than to hurl powerful magic at one another using the medium of dice?

I, Kraken, bring you a lavish offering of unfluffed nonsense courtesy of the Legions of Chaos list!

And I, Kasfunatu, had been neglecting my undead recently... and upping from 1600 to 2000pts for this session meant the lure of Nagash could not be ignored.

We're using a modification of the End Times that allows normal control of power dice and gets rid of the awful random power dice thing. To balance that, you can't cast a spell more than once per phase and End Times spells can be dispelled normally.

And yet to claim we'd found magical balance might be premature - reader beware, and read on!

Shore Leave: Dark Elves vs Warriors of Chaos

Prologue

Another day, another ruined tower. 

The Badlands were filled with them, dismal relics of failed settlements. This one poked out of a murky wood, the roof sagging inwards like punctured bellows. It must have had a moat once, slimy water choked with rotting snags lay from its feet right to the edge of the road. Facing it, a trio of large burial mounds, topped with twisted statues. 

Phlothos's Warband were in good spirits. More hapless peasants had joined their ranks. They'd even picked up some defectors from a broken Slaaneshi warband, riders willing to experience the unique sights and smells that Nurgle could show them. Change was in the air since their battle with the goblins. Hope rose in their rotting bones, and every day brought them nearer to the mountains. 

"I have been many things in my life," Phlothos said. Ub Shudder, most competent of his men, listened attentively nearby. 

"A leader of men. An invalid. A warrior. I studied the mysteries of our foetid faith under pestilent priests in the far north. Look at me, would you believe I was once a simple miner?"

Shudder shrugged. Looking at Phlothos, it was hard to believe he'd ever been a person at all. Mucus-slick tentacles sprouted from his armpits. His disease-wracked body, almost twice the normal girth of a man, had the sheen of a bloated corpse. His great deformed ruin of a head waggled unsteadily on its crapulent neck as though it might finally give in to gravity and break free any moment. 

"We all have pasts," Shudder said, and spent a moment pushing his own once more to the back of his mind. 

"True, true, friend Ub!" Phlothos boomed heartily. "Dark and broken pasts. Perhaps that is why we feel so alive in this dark and broken land!" He gestured widely at the forsaken tower and its lands. "Who knows who once lived here? Broken and wretched folk, to look at it now. But proud and mighty once, perhaps!"

"Or elves."

Phlothos gave his lieutenant a curious look. "What makes you say that, friend Ub?"

Ub pointed. "Them, my lord. Naggarothi pirates, I should say."

Phlothos looked. There indeed, stealing out of the blasted landscape like thieves, was a substantial warband of elves. Riders and footmen alike had deep blue and purple cloaks. Some pushed bolt throwers, others goaded some vast, writhing creature ahead of them, treating it like a monstrous ox. 

"What are they doing here?" Phlothos wondered. 

"Does it matter?" Ub asked. 

"No, no, I am merely curious! Spread the word, we shall fall upon them like a wasting illness. Whatever they sought in this benighted place, they shall find but death instead. My visit to the Dwarves has been delayed more than enough. But of course, it's always nice to kill a few elves, you know!"

Ub nodded, held his banner up and shook it twice. Warhorns sounded down the ranks of their warband; the elven host responded in like kind. Ruins shall beget ruin, Ub thought to himself, and smiled. 

Make the Rigging Tight!

It's All-Skype Fight Night!

Shadow Boxing: Warriors of Chaos vs Host of the Eternity King

On your Souls, I cast Blight! 

It's All-Skype Fight Night!

Oh, this one's going to have the beards wagging and no mistake! A fearsome 2000-point matchup that brings a very special General for the Warriors of Chaos with the premier in Eternity Host Leaders! Skype Fight Nights are pleased to present:

Be'Lakor vs Malekith!

In the Grey Corner, it's me, Kraken!

And in the other, equally Grey Corner, it's Kas!

To give you a measure of the miasmatic confusion that coated this game, we're both going to write in the same font! Really? okay, let's see how that works out....

Crazy! 

Indeed!

Mines of Morag: Night Goblins vs Warriors of Chaos

Prologue

Shroom peered over the cauldron, burying his face in the green steam like he was peering through a curtain. There were great disturbances in the outside world: old powers rising and new calamities in store. If the Word of Mork was to be believed, even their own underground caves would not be spared.

"Wocher, Shroom," Blacktoe sauntered up. "Got a cup a' fungus brew fer me?"

Shroom handed a beaker of viscous liquid to his warboss, who downed it in one gulp.

"Tintoof's lads say a bunch of humies fought their way into our mines," he said, wiping his chin. "Smashed through da western gate and chased off all da guards. Cowardly gits."

The warboss looked pointedly at Shroom for an explanation. Blacktoe might be sneaky and cowardly and possessed of many fine goblin virtues, but he relied on the great shaman for strategic insight. Shroom leaned over the cauldron once more and pinched the bridge of his long nose, sending out two streams of snot into the mixture.

"Dey are humies of da ruinous powers," Shroom examined the yellow trails in the mixture. "Same ones dat gave Bonekrunk's Waaagh! a good hiding a few weeks ago."

Blacktoe chuckled at the thought. Everyone south of Mad Dog Pass had enjoyed a good laugh at the Savage Warboss' expense. "Why have dey come 'ere?"

Three floating bogeys arranged themselves into a triangle and the truth was revealed to Shroom in strange words. "Dey want to capture da Well of Corruption."

"Wot? Da fountain in the vaults dat makes all the lads sick when dey get close?"

"Da very one."

"Well, if dey want it, so do we." Blacktoe hitched up his belt. "Let's wake up da squigs."

---

Mind the Stalactite!

It's All-Skype Fight Night!

Lesions of Chaos: Glottkin vs Kairos

After a successful game against Kraken, and fueled by sheer laziness on my part (and not having a wife or child to disrupt) I left the battle-board on the kitchen table and arranged for another game on Sunday. Full endtimes rules again and "fun" lists. This time I would be building both sides and Reinbowarrior would be back to choose one.

The Armies

I built 4 lists, and Reinbow chose Glottkin and so for the second time in two days I was going to be facing the blessed son of Nurgle.

Given we were playing full dirty magic there is no way I was not going to give a Kairos a go... A level 4 caster who knows 72 spells! Eat that Loremaster of Hoeth and your 56 spells!

The Glottkin list had two beasts for re-directors, Glottkin as a distraction, and a deathstar of a warrior horde including a shadow sorcerer, Festus and a wargor. The warriors all had halberds, and the beast banner on the gor BSB buffed their strength. 35 ws5, i5, s6 attacks (plus additional from heroes) can not be sniffed at.

Kairos on the other hand, was far more spread out. 2 minimum size unit of forsaken, 2 units of fast cavalry marauder horseman, 2 skull cannons, a chimera, Kairos and a Tzeentchian combat Lord on a disk.

Glottkill: Host of the Eternity King vs Legions of Chaos

Head Away From the Light!

It's All-Skype Fight Night!

The Original Chosen of Nurgle

That time again already? So soon? 

Well, welcome back Woff-Fans. Tonight we regale you with 2400 points of Mixed Elves taking on an All-Chaos Conglomeration, End Times Magic a-gogo!

We in this case is myself (Kraken, in plain and humble text)...

And a hello again from Kas

Goldfinger: Legions of Chaos vs Elven Horde

It's Just Not Polite!
It's All-Skype Fight Night!

Bringing in the New Year, you'll find me (Kraken) in normal font...

Happy New Year all; bold Kas here.

We bring you a fresh new start for the fresh new year! Not only is Kas trying something 'orrible from the Legions of Chaos, but I'm playing a list that includes no less than no Chaos units at all. If that's not a new leaf, I don't know what is.

Armies

2400 points a side, and both of us rocking not only Boasts but End Times armies with End Times elven magic rules.