They Think It's Turnover

Let's score some resolutions!

Stylus and I both have Blood Bowl on our to-do list for the year. It's been a few years since the latest edition came out, too, so great to dash screaming into a belated season of it like a Snotling in front of a Death Roller.

It feels like years (because it *has* been years) since I've been promising to play Blood Bowl. So thanks to Kraken for keeping me honest.

Dead Shirts

With all the speed of a zombie linebacker, the Nevermore Ravens are finally out on the Gridiron. We're playing a friendly match (blunt weapons only), our teams are both costing a standard 1,000,000 gold, and I've gone with a box-set lineup. 

Two Mummies, King Stankh and the Black Pharoah, for muscle on the scrimmage line, then a pair each of Wights (Barry and Dwight) and Ghouls (Razzle and Charles D) for speed and blitzing power. The rest of my team are nameless skeletons and zombies, the detritus swept up from the stands after last season's final, and I've enough spare for two vital team re-rolls after. 

Dirty Yellows

The Mad Dog Necksnappers are the first of my teams to make it off the painting table. With a lot of gold to spend, the choices were easy - buy everything!

Stylus is a first-time player, I'm a seasoned veteran of the computer adaptations (which, by the way, are very good as long as you turn the commentary off), and we helped each other stagger through this introductory game. 

The rules are actually fairly simple, but in the way of these games, not very intuitively laid out. Playing it is the best way to understand it by far! 

Generally, you move your chaps about and then roll dice if they try anything that involves the ball or the other team. If a dice roll is failed, your turn is immediately over, so it's a good idea to do as much moving about as you can before you attempt anything vital. This is why team rerolls are important (and expensive!), but even they can only do so much - they can't be used for armour or injury rolls, for instance, just the actual ball handling or movement rolls.

I must say, I read the official rulebook (beautifully illustrated, terribly laid-out) three times and still couldn't get my head around the game. But when I actually got onto the grid-iron, with someone to guide me, it made a lot more sense.

1st Half

We get off to a smashing start - as I take the opening kick, the sun comes out! This means the already dreadful passing game Undead and Black Orks can muster takes a further penalty as we squint uncomfortably in the daylight.

As the central line of scrimmage turns into a mess of troll vomit and skeletons flying through the air, a Goblin Bruiser manages to pick up the ball and start sprinting down the left wing. 

I'm already feeling the pressure from the brutal pounding the Black Orcs can put out. One of my costly Mummies is put straight into the dugout, the apothecary unable to tell which bandages are original and which are repair jobs. Turn one and I'm down a man!

Luckily, the ball Goblin tries a bit too hard for speed, twists an ankle and loses possession. 

It cost me my only team reroll and I still fumbled it. I'm going to feed that Goblin to the Troll.

That's all I need to speed forward with a Ghoul, grab it and go for broke in the endzone. Touchdown!

The second play starts badly as the Ref takes a dislike to the Troll and sends it off. Stylus argues the call to no avail - he's out of there. 

The next play is longer and bloodier, with my central scrum once more getting pounded flat by the Orks.

Those Black Orcs really can punch, and will flatten anything that isn't a Mummy. From the frustrated noises from Kraken, I'm also learning that my armour value - even for the Goblins - is good, so this is a team that can mix it up.

Stylus is now more wary of my nippier teamsters, and carefully boxes them in or knocks them over before eventually dragging the ball over the line, boxed in with the annoyingly tough Goblins.

If the opposition aren't on their feet, they can't chase after you. That's what I'm learning about what Black Orcs bring to the party.

As the Black Orcs kick everyone else out of the way, the Goblin Bruiser - appropriately named Speedicut - scores my first ever touchdown!

We tuck into our oranges on a neck-and-neck 1-1 tie!

2nd Half

We're both bloodied now, and starting to get our teeth into the tactics. I'm receiving this time, and start by stacking extra pressure on the scrimmage with a full stack of Zombies. King Stankh does very well this time out, knocking a Black Ork out of the game!

As his deathless pals drag the rest of the central scrum down, I've got Ghouls and Wights powering down my right wing, ball in tow. 

Stylus rushes his heavier, slower team to try and stop me, but it's looking bad - two turns in, I'm on the edge of the endzone, a single Goblin Blocker marking my Ghoul winger as he goes for the try. Can I dodge past? 

Not on the first go (I need a three, I roll a two), so it's reroll time. For another two! I bite the astrogranite, and that's turnover.

It was almost over the endzone! But now the ball is scooped up by a Bodser, the Goblin Bruiser, and I have to run it all the way down the pitch (I don't trust my boys' throwing or passing abilities).

As the Undead race to intercept, I form a protective cage around Bodser and steam towards the scrimmage line. Then, disaster! While making a routine block (I mentioned that the Black Orcs could do this in their sleep), Bluto messes it up so badly he knocks himself over. It's an early turnover and my line is badly out of position - with my Goblin far away from any support. 

Kraken moves to capitalise on this chance, beginning with his Mummy putting an easy boot into the nearest Goblin. However, King Stankh makes an even bigger mess of things when he concusses both himself and his target, squandering the Undead's turn.

With only a pair of Zombies left to do the chasing, the writing is on the wall, but Kraken makes a brave fist of it, before they're both tripped by supporting Goblins and Bodser runs into endzone. Touchdown!

That makes it 2-1, and I've got virtual seconds to try and score. It's basically impossible, I can't cover the distance I need from the line of scrimmage, but I have a bloody good go! 

One Ghoul grabs the ball and comes forward, the other sprints as far as he can down the right wing. It's a long pass on a sunny day - can I connect?

Yes I can! Goblins leap and flail in a vain attempt to intercept, but the shot is a 1-in-6 miracle throw!

Alas, the Ghoul on the other end is in no way able to catch this perfect shot, which bounces off the back of his head as he's scampering intently towards goal. With that, it's turnover and game over!

Locker Room

What a hoot!

Black Orks are meaty and tough, and a tricky match for the Shambling Dead. We're both fairly slow, tough teams who prefer scrapping to passing. The Undead often rely on their regeneration to whittle enemies down over time, though, and the Black Orks have more than enough armour to make whittling them harder than I expected. I probably had more of an edge in speed, really, and should have leaned a bit more on that than I did.

That was fantastic! Unlike many other board games, I couldn't get a sense of it from the rulebook, or even the video reports. But actually playing an actual game gave me a proper taste. I'll definitely have more of this, please.

Tactics-wise, I didn't really have much of a clue, and my Troll got sent off before he could throw (or eat) anyone, so there's lots to learn. I think these Black Orcs make a pretty good entry ramp, since it's a blunt instrument of hitting and running. I've got many more teams to paint up, so there's variety to be had, although I'm very happy with the Necksnappers for the moment.

Now we've got the hang of the game, I reckon a match wouldn't be more than the traditional ninety minutes each way (plus banter and slo-mo replays). Definitely good for a relaxed game of a night, and I'm already looking forward to vainly chasing my resolution (Beat Stylus) across the coming year!