Warhammer: The Old World!
... or Fantasy Battle 9th Edition, take your pick. Either way, we're keen on some rank n' flank action and though we haven't exactly abstained since The End Times destroyed the world, it's fair to say that our gaze went elsewhere.
But a nice new rulebook and a bucketload of enthusiasm has thrown us back into the past. So I, Stylus, will be facing Kraken and we'll Skypehammer like it's 2014!
Dandy Lions
Once upon a time, Wood Elves were the bane of my life.
Warriors of Chaos, see, my favoured army of WFB, were slow, heavily armoured and pretty much without shooting. Whereas Wood Elves were fast lightweights with masses of it. When I fought them, I'd be lucky to get more than two or three models as far as the enemy, at which point their lines would explode in a fluffy cloud of small units skirmishing off in all directions.
To me, this became known as 'kicking the Dandelion' - you'd make a big mess and maybe kill one of them, but the overall effect on the overall population was negligible.
So for this edition (and let's be honest please, this is a new edition of Fantasy Battle regardless of what the PR folk tell you), having been unable to beat them, I am joining them. Two units of bows, one of flouncy dancers taking elaborate bows and some light cavalry with horns on their brows, with a Hero and Wizard to help.
And a Hail of Doom Arrow, because it wouldn't be Welves without it.
- Armolad, Glade Captain
Additional hand weapon, Swiftshiver Shards. Great Stag, Hail of Doom Arrow - Oestragen, Spellsinger
Wizard Level 2, Wand of Wych Elm - The Hearts of Oak, 20 x Glade Guard
Lord's Bowman, standard bearer, musician, Trueflight Arrows - The Lillies of the Valley, 10 x Glade Guard
Lord's Bowman, standard bearer, musician, Swiftshiver Shards - Flossa’s Morris, 10 x Wardancers
Bladesinger, standard bearer, musician, 5 x additional hand weapons, 5 x throwing spears - The Stag Knights, 5 x Wild Riders
Wild Hunter
Orcs & Goblins
Oh, it's good to be back among the greenskins. My army selection wasn't really steered by tactical thinking, it was just all the units I wanted to see again (I could easily have doubled the size of the army and not been satisfied).
Speaking of relentless gluttony, Grom the Paunch will be leading the army (or rather, his proxy, since Grom hasn't yet appeared in The Old World timeline). It was nice of the army lists to allow an exact duplication of Grom. There's even the Trollhide Trousers magic item to replicate his regeneration ability (touches like this convince me that there was a lot of love in this games development).
I also brought a mob of Night Goblins, carrying the obligatory fanatics. A couple of Night Goblin Warbosses - one to bring up the mob's leadership to a healthy mediocre, the other to rampage forward on a Giant Squig. Some actual combat power with an Orc mob (who can be taken upgrades to make them into 'savage orcs') and Orc Chariot (who also get to be savage - for the first time, and it matches my conversion!)
Finally a Night Goblin Shaman and a Doom Diver. Both equally devastating and potentially useless.
- NomNom the Paunch - Goblin Warboss
Light armour, shield, great weapon. Wolf (3) chariot. Trollhide Trousers - Blacktoe - Night Goblin Warboss
Light armour, shield. - Hopsplat - Night Goblin Warboss
Cavalry spear, light armour. Giant Cave Squig. Enchanted Shield. Wollopa's One Hit Wunda - Dipstik - Night Goblin Oddgit
Level 2 wizard - Da Bone 'Eadz - 20 x Orcs
Additional hand weapons, big stabba, command group, frenzy, warpaint - Da Panther Caps - 28 x Night Goblins
Thrusting spears, netters, command group, 2 x Fanatics - Da Smokey Wheelz - 1 x Orc Chariot
Warpaint, frenzy - Da Gonzo - 1 x Doom Diver
Mission and Deployment
We're fighting though a Mountain Pass today, so deploying on the short edges of a 3x4' board. The long edges are inaccessible, and we've got that old friend Random Game Length back. 5+ turns and straightforward victory points for a win.
We also get to randomly discover our spells. My Spellsinger is an Elementalist today, and I roll Wind Blast, then swap the other one for Tree Singing. So one powerful magic missile that also pushes an enemy back, and the chance to drop extra trees on the field, which ought to delight those chariots.
I stick my wood down between two hills, realism being the key to victory here, then put archer units on each one. The Spellsinger is with the larger elf unit, the Captain is riding his stag round the wood with the Wardancers and the Wild Riders have the extreme north flank.
I line up across the mountain pass in the traditional style of savage hordes. The two chariots go central, as they're fastest and tough enough to soak early shots. My infantry will footslog behind, covered by the Doom Diver. Finally, the Night Goblin Warboss on a Giant Cave Squig will sneak around the flank.
For spells, I get Itchy Nuisance (drops Toughness and Initiative) and Vindictive Glade (single target, multi-damage). At least my head doesn't explode from mushrooms in this edition!
Then it's time to launch the formal challenge of the Arrow of Kurnous. Grom accepts the challenge by sportingly taking a pre-game wound, and then I win the roll-off for first turn as well. Excelsior!
Wood Elves - Turn 1
Nice quick movement turn - everyone stands stock still and nocks their bows.
My eyesight isn't what it was - without my glasses on, the army list seemed to tell me that my elven longbows were strength 5. Luckily for all, this is nonsense. The Elves still put a good turn of ranging fire in, spreading shots around on the Orcs, but nobody panics - they're too frenzied to care.
The map claims I shot a few Goblins, but that's a lie - the smaller archer unit attempted to light up the Squig Rider, and completely failed to dent its rubbery hide. I might have darkened the sky with my arrows, but it probably would have been better to actually aim them first.
Orcs & Goblins - Turn 1
Well, I can't hang about here. My entire army lurches forward, heading for that choke-point between the low walls. I could go a lot further with the chariots (now they can march, they can really cover some ground), but didn't want to leave my neck out for an easy charge.
My shooting begins with the Doom Diver. Aiming at the small unit of archers, the goblin crew load up the volunteer, pull the crank handle and - oops! The diver stays exactly where he is, and instead the war machine is thrown into the air, smashing into a hundred pieces when it lands. Good start.
My Oddgit attempts to improve on that uninspiring start by casting Vindictive Glare on the Glade Captain. Usually characters can't be targeted when they're close to friendly units, but this on is sitting atop a monstrous creature, with no nearby cavalry to screen, so he's fair game. The spell is cast, and with a whopping strength, I only need a 2+ to potentially kill the enemy general. I roll a 1.
So it's been a fantastic turn for me. I'd better end it there before Kraken starts begging for mercy.
Wood Elves - Turn 2
Still not much movement, although the Wild Riders do trot out on the flank, ready to sweep into the sides of the advancing Greenskins.
Time to unleash the Hail of Doom, which slaps merrily into the Orcs and takes off another handful. Still not enough for them to notice. The large Glade Guards have a go at the Boar Chariot, doing a rather feeble lone wound, then the other unit pepper a few Goblins off, but not enough to upset them.
My spells are in range, but don't do much, as they either fail or get dispelled. No new trees. Sad face.
Orcs & Goblins - Turn 2
At the start of my turn, I cast the Itchy Nuisance hex on the Wild Riders, dropping their Initiative (still going to be higher than mine) and Toughness (now barely higher than a Snotling's).
Movement-wise, we're closing the gap now, which means we get to learn about the Impetuous rule (which seems to have replaced Animosity, more or less). Basically, if a unit can charge, on a 1-3 roll, they're going to attempt it. Not that this adversely affects me, since my Orc units are frenzied, and have to attempt a charge no matter what.
And wouldn't you know - the Orc Chariot is just about in range of the Wild Riders. It's a very unlikely charge, but I have to declare (and likely fail). The Wild Riders respond with their counter-charge ability - which means they move forward, and we all count as charging. This movement actually means my chariot makes it in... although he's now facing charging Wild Riders.
Similarly Grom can potentially charge the wardancers, and so attempts it, fails, and is left directly behind the chariot (and directly in the Wild Riders' overrun path).
The infantry are too slow for such considerations, so they just slog forward. The Giant Cave Squig rolls a very low bounce, and so takes cover behind a wall, taunting the Glade Guard to shoot him.
Shooting is quick, now I'm down one war machine. Dipstik once again turns his Vindictive Glare on the Glade Captain and casts it with a perfect invocation. I manage to wound this time, and get the maximum three wounds, which kills the enemy general!
It only gets worse, as the Orc Chariot smashes through three of the T1 Wild Riders with impact hits, and survives the furious riposte of the surviving two with a single wound. The chariot crew cut down another of the riders, but the Wild Hunter stays resolute and only gives ground in the fight.
Wood Elves - Turn 3
The good thing about this edition is that, after failing a panic test, the unit Falls Back In Good Order, rather than breaks and flees - so they're still able to participate in the battle, they're just not that keen.
My Spellsinger still can't quite remember the names of the trees he's after, but he does a hefty Wind Blast, shoving Grom backwards and blowing half his wounds off.
Then the last Wild Rider succumbs to being run over, and the Boar Chariot rumbles cheerily onwards towards the flanks of my army. The Wardancers are still biding their time, shuffling backwards just a little so they don't get a chariot to the teeth.
Orcs & Goblins - Turn 3
It's a turn of positioning for me, particularly as both chariots line up to smash into the large unit of Glade Guard. The Savage Orcs move into charge range of the Wardancers and brace themselves.
The Night Goblins shuffle towards the halfway mark (making sure there is a nice stone wall between them and the Glade Guard targeting them), while Hopsplat rolls another low bounce for this Giant Cave Squig and bobbles along towards them.
Wood Elves - Turn 4
Grom's pretty hurt, and I reckon I can take his last couple of wounds with magic and shooting, so I opt for the Orcs in the end.
Magic and shooting fail me! The Wind Blast bounces off, the Tree Singing is still more of an Arboreal Hum and the Wolf Chariot is still going strong afterwards. At least the Squig Rider loses half of his wounds now he's out in the open.
The Savages take a right beating, courtesy of some flashy Wardancing. Their champion accepts and loses a challenge, my tattoos are on point and save me from most of the revenge attacks from the few Orcs standing on the front row when I've finished.
But those Greenskins are in Close Order, and such units get a set bonus to their combat resolution that my skirmishers lack, so despite a pretty convincing win, it's close. The Orcs are only just beaten back, but they do flee, getting run down just in front of the Goblins.
Who still have their fanatics. Uh-oh.
Orcs & Goblins - Turn 4
Time for the second wave of attacks! Except for the Giant Cave Squig, who didn't get the memo and bounces just short of his target.
The Night Goblins are keen for someone else to do the fighting (unlike other greenskins, they don't have Impetuous, and thankfully don't have to test to stop charging the Wardancers) and release the Fanatics from their ranks.
(This is another improvement in the Fanatic mechanic - the player can choose to release Fanatics in their Start of Turn sub-phase, and they they move in the Compulsory Movement. It gives you more control over the Fanatics, but gets rid of the 'gotcha' of them automatically being released when the enemy get in range - so everyone benefits).
To cut to the chase, the ball-and-chain loonies smash through the Wardancers, and only two of them are able to quick-step out of the way. I wish I'd brought some shortbows now, but I have to be content to Vindictive Glare one of them away, just leaving the champion.
In the really meaty combat, both chariots hammer into the large unit of Glade Guard. Both vehicles are groaning on their last wounds now, so I was lucky to be too close, or out of sight, for Stand and Shoot. Between impact hits and greenskin steel, I cut down more than half the unit, although they do get some payback when they manage to kick over the orc chariot (robbing me of my rear attack bonus).
The Glade Guard show their determination by passing their Break test and only Give Ground (which Grom immediately follows - I'm not being left in the target zone!).
Wood Elves - Turn 5
Well, I don't have much left to do except grin and bear it. A final shower of arrows ends the slow rampage of the Cave Squig as the Fanatics spin randomly about the field.
The Wardancer charges the chariot and challenges it, but fails to scrape that last wound off before getting poked to death by a Goblin. Ignominy!
The chariot is still throwing out impact hits, which archers really don't like. Somehow, I manage to pass the break test well enough that I'm just giving ground, but unless someone pulls another miracle, I can't see me winning this fight.
Orcs & Goblins - Turn 5
The map shows the Giant Cave Squig getting shot to death a second time. Serves him right - I rolled 12D6 and he couldn't cross 24" of battlefield!
The Night Goblins back away - showing entirely the appropriate levels of cowardice. Moreover, my unit is nearly below 50% strength, and if I fail another panic test, I'll start fleeing.
As the last greenskin representing, Grom has one wound left and is swinging for the fences. He chops down the last of the Glade Guard, leaving only the Spellsinger.
At the end of the turn, the game ends. We tot up the points destroyed (including bonuses for generals killed and standards captured) and the Orcs & Goblins come out ahead.
So I guess the goblins managed to force their way through the Mountain Pass!
Result - 788 : 586
Victory to the Orcs & Goblins!
Locker Room
Picking over the corpses on this battlefield, I'm mostly impressed on how nice it is to be back! The game feels like a tighter, neater version of what I remember. The way units don't immediately run off is a huge improvement, and the new magic system is also a massive tune-up.
Agreed - it's hugely enjoyable to play again. I think I would have been happy with anything, but from what I've so far experienced, the rules have definitely been tweaked for the better.
Nice close result, too - in retrospect, if I'd charged Grom I'd probably have cleared him with the Wardancers, leaving me out of the way of the Fanatics and ready to deal with the Savage Orcs. And counter-charging that Chariot with the Wild Riders was clearly a mistake, I should have let it rumble to a full-stop and then flattened it. Couldn't risk it hitting me first, though!
It was a very close-run thing. If the big unit of Glade Guard had even one model left, it would have swung the points the other way. I'm not sure what I could have done better - greenskins are barely under control at the best of times. Maybe I should have traded my goblin spears for bows - I was never going to come off better in melee and Itchy Nuisance was making the low toughness elves horribly vulnerable.
Not much I could have done for an underperforming Cave Squig and an exploding Doom Diver, but you bring this army for randomness!
Our bad lucks seemed to even out pretty well, though. That poor Doom Diver and Squig Rider versus my inept Tree summoning and some impressively whiffy wound rolls - all par for the course. Excellent stuff - more please!
Perfect! Pure nostalgia for me in reading a batrep of an exciting game that I don't really know from back in WD days. Sounds like great fun, well done!
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