Here comes the fuzz...
S.H.I.E.L.D. vs Spider-Foes
What has the USA become?
Once our brave soldiers trod the shores of Tripoli and the Halls of Montezuma, resplendent in their instantly-recognisable and iconic green herringbone. One glance, and you knew you were looking at a highly-trained and formidable opponent, trained to near-perfection and ready to take it to whichever enemy of freedom had dared to raise its ugly head over the parapet.
And now? Who claims to keep America's honour clean? Why, it's a shadowy bunch of mercenaries too ashamed of their dark op tactics to show their faces. SHIELD says they're trying to protect us, but they seem far too concerned with keeping their own identities under wraps for my liking!
It's exactly their kind of behind-the-scenes chicanery that has left us with the likes of the Rhino, Lizard and Venom. Are they really trying to put these villains behind bars, or trying to bring them back into the fold where they belong? Really, the only difference between War Machine and Green Goblin is who is calling their shots!
Ban the lot of them and bring back national service!
J. Jonah Jameson
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S.H.I.E.L.D.
Even at a mere Threat 15, you can fit a lot of bodies into the S.H.I.E.L.D. list, probably because they're mostly ordinary humans (give or take some Soviet-era updates). We also get to see the return of Grunts (in the form of S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents), for extra cannon fodder.
I, Stylus, will be commanding Hawkeye, Winter Soldier, S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents & Nick Fury jnr, Black Widow and War Machine.
Tactics are: Battlefield Medicine, Defensive Prototype, Hard Reset, Helicarrier Strike, Life Model Decoy
Spider-Foes
This looks like a very aggro Spider-Foes list. Rhino is the definition of the term, Lizard is very tanky, while Venom and Green Goblin are no slouches in damage output either. These are some of my favourite characters, so we should be in for some fun here.
In a last minute substitution, they'll be commanded by Pootle, who nonetheless managed to cram a week of preparation into half a day's pre-game notice.
Tactics are: Custom Upgrades, Monkey Brain Is Lizard Home, Neogenetic Recombinator, Rhino In A China Shop, This Is A Robbery
Deployment
The first crisis is Gamma Wave Sweeps Across Midwest, which gives us three Gamma Shelters down the centre of the board. These are worth 1VP for securing the nearest and middle shelter, and 2VP for the furthest one. Crucially, anyone who is not within Range 2 of a shelter at the end of a round will suffer damage. So that will be cosy.
The other crisis is Fear Grips World As ‘Worthy’ Terrorize Cities, which is straightforward - there are four Celestial Hammers and you get 1VP for holding one. A hammer also gives you an extra attack die (and makes Tactic cards slightly more expensive).
We noticed that, by happenstance of list-building, almost all the attacks on both sides are physical, so this could get very punchy.
The Spider-Foes spread out wide, so clearly gamma radiation doesn't bother this crew. Venom takes the right flank, eyeing up the eastern hammer.
Lizard's on the other flank, with the western hammer as his goal. Rhino and Green Goblin take the middle, ready to seize the southern hammer and their home shelter.
The S.H.I.E.L.D. crew have a healthier respect for radiation, and cluster together around their home shelter and the northern hammer.
The exception is War Machine, who goes wide to face off against the eastern hammer.
The Spider-Foes win priority and we're away!
Round 1
Rhino wastes no time and barrels forward to the middle shelter. Lizard and Venom push up their respective flanks, picking up a hammer each.
Green Goblin is the only one who hangs back, collecting the southern hammer and securing the home gamma shelter.
Already pushed onto the back foot, S.H.I.E.L.D. move tentatively around their home shelter, with Hawkeye picking up the hammer.
Even with their long-range weapons, most things are out of reach, but War Machine does manage to chip a few wounds off Rhino with Metal Storm (and put Bleed onto him).
Black Widow draws the short straw of contesting the middle shelter, so runs up to Rhino, using the dubious cover of a construction loader.
So ends the first turn, with the bad guys collecting twice as many VPs and quite a lot of pressure bearing down on the thin, navy-blue line.
As a side note, being behind in VPs isn't the worst thing for S.H.I.E.L.D., since Nick Fury's command ability means that, if S.H.I.E.L.D. are behind in VPs, when an ally is dazed/KO for the first time in a round, they gain a VP!
S.H.I.E.L.D. 2 : 4 Spider-Foes
Round 2
As always, the first turn was positional. Now things get brutal. Rhino stampedes into Black Widow and throws the construction loader at the Grunts, who are immediately flattened. He then hits Hawkeye with a Gore attack and takes him out with one shot!
Fury immediately summons more S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents, who retrieve Hawkeye's dropped hammer, and directs everyone to open up on Rhino. After Winter Solider has made his contribution, it's War Machine who Empties the Clip and dazes Rhino.
Lizard runs over to contest the central shelter, throwing a construction loader at Black Widow for good measure. Widow dodges out of the way, and in her turn, sprints across the field to contest the Spider-Foes' home shelter, putting a Stagger on Green Goblin with her Mixed Technique.
Goblin doesn't have a sense of humour about this and uses his sole remaining activation to throw a cascade of pumpkin bombs, dazing Black Widow with Night of the Goblin.
Venom can't get in range of any shelter, so has to settle for hitting War Machine with his Symbiote Tendrils.
The Spider Foes are still holding three hammers and one shelter, compared to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s one hammer and one shelter. But the authorities do gain an additional VP for Hawkeye getting dazed, so no-one's running away with it yet.
S.H.I.E.L.D. 5 : 8 Spider-Foes
Round 3
Rhino's back on his feet and mad as hell. He starts off my Stampeding into a newly-recovered Hawkeye and KOs him immediately! Better luck next time, Barton.
Winter Solider weathers the follow-up attack from Rhino, who moves to contest the home shelter. Meanwhile Nick Fury and the S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents draw a bead on Lizard. Inspired by Lead From The Front, they manage to dazed Lizard, with the Agents picking up his dropped hammer.
The duel between Black Widow and Green Goblin continues. Widow is first to draw, and puts Stagger on Goblin once again. Goblin once again hits Widow with Night of the Goblin, but leaves her standing on a just single point of damage.
Now Black Widow gets to react with a Counter-Strike, and inflicts just enough damage on Goblin to daze him! He drops the hammer (and, when he wakes up, won't be able to collect it any more - Goblin is peculiar like that) and, more importantly, Black Widow is now securing the 2VP enemy shelter!
In the centre, Fury now has the middle shelter secured, and War Machine flies back to the home shelter, using Battlefield Medicine to patch himself up. Once again, War Machine and Winter Soldier target Rhino, even calling down a Helicarrier Strike to chip away damage from that tough hide.
The final action is Venom very sportingly using Neogenetic Recombinator to transfer three of Rhino's wounds to himself (so there goes all my hard work), and dazes Winter Soldier with his Symbiote Tendrils.
Despite that final punch, it's been a great turn for S.H.I.E.L.D. They're now holding the middle and enemy shelter, plus two hammers, and a bonus for losing Hawkeye (so he's still contributing!). The Spider-Foes now only hold one hammer and no objectives, so the lead switches around - and yet stays close.
S.H.I.E.L.D. 11 : 9 Spider-Foes
Round 4
The Spider-Foes go first (they always do, due to their fewer numbers and the nice game-balancing rules about who gets priority), and Green Goblin is not letting Black Widow get a third strike in, so delivers a KO and secures his home shelter.
Nick Fury lets Rhino have everything, but he's still left with one point of damage and full stack of power. He goes back at Fury and dazes him on the first attempt.
However, this allows Winter Solider to follow up with his Got Your Back attack and takes off Rhino's last wound with his Assault Rifle.
He then follows up with his own turn, moving to secure the middle objective and sniping off Green Goblin's last wound with his Assault Rifle - double-tap!
Lizard responds by throwing a concrete mixer at the S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents, squashing them flat (plenty more where they came from). They are forced to drop both hammers, which end up back in Lizard's scaly paws.
War Machine finishes off a brutal turn by blasting both Lizard and Venom. Lizard shrugs off the damage, but Venom was already hurting and goes down dazed.
With so many combatants in the dirt, it's a low scoring round. The Spider-Foes hold two hammers, and S.H.I.E.L.D. have the middle and home shelter under their control.
The first to 16 VP will win it, but if both sides get to 16, it's sudden death...
S.H.I.E.L.D. 13 : 11 Spider-Foes
Round 5
Possibly for lack of targets, this is much more of a positional turn. Venom bounces back, picks up a hammer, secures the middle shelter and dazes War Machine with Symbiote Tendrils.
Lizard flings Nick Fury off the middle shelter and into the Winter Soldier, then moves to claim S.H.I.E.L.D.'s home shelter.
Unable to dent either of the remaining bruisers, Winter Solider sprints back across the field to grab the hammer dropped by Green Goblin and secure the Spider Foes' shelter. That's my 3VP secured, but Spider-Foes are set to claim 5VP, which would draw the game.
In a flash of brilliance (aided by Pootle, who sportingly told me I was heading for the wrong objective), Nick Fury runs onto his home shelter, contesting it with Lizard. He also summons more S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents, but they're for moral support, as the game is over and Colonel Eyepatch has won it by a whisker!
S.H.I.E.L.D. 16 : 15 Spider-Foes
Back at the Bullpen
I'm saying this a lot, but that game was amazing. I don't know whether it's good game design, good opponents, or good fortune, but these matches of Marvel Crisis Protocol have been absolute stormers, and always come down to the wire.
Kudos to my opponent, Pootle, who had very little time to wrap his head around the Spider-Foes and played them very well. It's a shame to see these superstars depart in the first round, but S.H.I.E.L.D. do offer a very different dimension to the game, so it was great to see what they could do.
Thanks Stylus, I did enjoy the last-minute game - there was a certain lack of subtlety to these guys that made them easier to run than I'd thought. As you say, a great game: I’d always far rather lose a game like that than win one comfortably.
I think having to cluster around the Gamma Shelters was a positive and negative for me - it gave the powerhouses something easy to aim for, but it also allowed me to focus down each one in turn. Adding Celestial Hammers to the mix is just a recipe for destruction!
I think MVP has to go to Black Widow, a lowly Threat 2 character that effectively neutralised Green Goblin for the whole game, and even grabbed a few VPs. I've played Romanoff a few times before, and her abilities have never synchronised so well.
The exchange in round three between Goblin and Widow was pretty crucial - if I'd snuck one more damage through Widow's (limited) defences she'd've been KO'd and that would have been a 5VP swing right there.
I was generally impressed with all the S.H.I.E.L.D. characters (not you, Hawkeye) - War Machine and Winter Soldier are ones I'd definitely field again. I liked Nick Fury's constant supply of S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents and his command ability proved decisive.
Definitely agree, as I'm finding with the Guardians, I like having lots of smaller characters to run around with and the S.H.I.E.L.D. team seem to synergise well.
Time to reload and head on to Game Six!
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Our tax dollars pay their salaries, and they can barely ecen put down a second-rate clown like Rhino? SHIELD should stop. Full stop! No more suits in super-suits, just New York's Finest given proper funding and the place in the public eye they so richly deserve.
I'll say it again, YIELD, SHIELD!
J. Jonah Jameson
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