Here they assemble...
Avengers vs Hydra
Who says we, the American People, can't look after ourselves?
The so-called Avengers, that's who! Did they ask us if we wanted avenging? Did they wait to see if nobody stood up to be counted? Or did they just appear and start telling us what we needed, just like every faceless representative of our elitist, know-it-all government ever?
There may be a day in the future when the honest workers of our proud land need a malformed, radioactive monster to stand up for them. Or Dorothy's Tin Man. Or a man in a bird costume, or someone almost too small to see. If that day is today, I'll eat both my moustache and my cigar hot for breakfast!
In all honestly, what's the difference between these self-serving do-gooders and their supposed enemies? I can't tell who is who! All the masks and lies make it impossible to tell. All I know is they all wreck our city on a regular basis, yet we're supposed to feel gratitude?
You tell me, folks - which set of letters are we supposed to trust, SHIELD or HYDRA? They're all the same to me, and about as welcome as the IRS!
J. Jonah Jameson
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Avengers
The franchise superstars are under the command of Monkey: Iron Man, Captain America (Sam Wilson), Hulk and Ant Man. I think the plan is for the other three to facilitate the big green guy doing his thing.
Tactics are: Anger Management, Avengers Assemble, Gamma Launch, Ricochet Blast, Bird of Prey
Hydra
Strictly speaking, this is a Cabal affiliation (because that's Sin's leadership trait) but narratively, I'm calling these guys Hydra. Lacking anyone in Hulk's class, these guys will have to emphasise stealth and chicanery: Baron Zemo, Viper, Mysterio, Sin and Crossbones.
Tactics are: Illicit Tech, To Ash And Cinder, Eyes On The Prize, One-Two Punch, Trip Up
Deployment
We're playing the same missions as the
previous round - Mystic Wakandan Herb: Fact or Fiction? (grab a Herb objective on the far side of the board and run back to a Vessel objective for 4VP a turn) and Infinity Formula Goes Missing! (secure objectives, gain power) - as I thought the high tempo and accelerated violence would appeal to my opponent.
Captain America and Iron Man take the right flank, ready to fight over the Hydra Herb. Hulk takes the left flank (I don't think he's hiding behind the garbage truck, so much as weighing it up for a throw).
Ant Man is around here somewhere, probably in the centre.
The bad guys also spread out - Mysterio on the right flank to watch the Avengers' Herb, Baron Zemo in the centre, and a wicked triumvirate of Crossbones, Sin and Viper on the left, ready to dash for their Herb.
Round 1
Hydra is first out of the traps, and Sin races towards the western infinity canister. Due to her special ability, she can activate her beau, Crossbones, at the same time, so he lumbers along too.
Being quicker on the wing, Captain America secures the western infinity canister, backed up by Iron Man. Ant Man grabs the northern canister. Hulk walks over the truck, heading towards the Herb, but a little disappointed at having no-one to smash.
Baron Zemo secures the southern canister, by Mysterio holds back from getting any closer to Hulk.
Viper sprints towards the Hydra Herb, close enough to grab it next turn.
As always, a couple of VPs scored this round, before it all kicks off.
Avengers 2 : 1 Hydra
Round 2
And so it does - Viper grabs the Hydra Herb and sprints back towards her own Vessel objective.
Meanwhile, Sin and Crossbones cover their teammate by piling into the Avengers. Utilising the Illicit Tech, Sin whips out the X-B0-S1-N Plasma Rifle and zaps Captain America until he's dazed, setting fire to Iron Man for good measure.
Iron Man retaliates with a repulsor blast on Crossbones, who just walks right back into it.
Ant Man continue to secures his backline objective, while Hulk throws a cabin at Mysterio to no avail, and has to settle for picking up a Herb. Mysterio takes over the backline objective from Zemo, who runs over to grab the eastern canister.
Hydra now nudge ahead of the Avengers in VP, and have secured the first knockdown, but no-one's got a herb back to base yet.
Round 3
Time for Captain America to take these broken wings, and may them fly again. Sam Wilson swoops towards Mysterio, and nearly comes a cropper on his exploding Tricks and Traps. Nonetheless, he stays active and uses Bird of Prey to put a crack in Mysterio's fishbowl with his shield, dazing the magician.
Viper has a chance to run directly onto her Vessel, but reveals herself to be more chicken than serpent when she takes a more circuitous route - away from Hulk who is currently dominating the centre and could daze her with one move.
Robbed of the chance to take the bait, Hulk leaps back onto his Vessel objective and drops a building on Sin, dazing her with one move.
Iron Man and Crossbones continue to spar, while Ant Man stays on his objective and wonders why he came along.
With only Zemo scoring an objective, Hydra only take 1 VP compared to the Avengers' 5VP - and that Herb will be difficult to wrest from Hulk's green fingers.
Round 4
Viper finally makes it onto her Vessel objective, which then makes her the target of half the Avengers. Captain America comes in first (probably remembering how Viper failed to laser-pistol him as she ran past him last turn). However, bad as she is at attack, Viper has a neat defensive trick - Coiled Serpent - that allows her to damage her attacker. Sure enough, Cap goes down to the counter-strike.
Ant-Man sprints across the pitch to take on Viper, but also finds himself stung by the Coiled Serpent. He clings onto his last wound and, now ant-sized, Baron Zemo has trouble running him through with his sword.
Mysterio gets back to his feet, but then stays put to secure the infinity canister.
On the other side of the field, Sin and Crossbones decides they have it in them to take out Hulk. Sin goes first, using her Insult to Injury / Make It Personal attack - and quickly learns that annoying the Hulk is not a route to victory. Hulk picks up Crossbones and uses him to beat Hydra's leader senseless. Go forth and Sin no more.
With Viper clinging onto the Herb, and the bad guys holding onto more infinity canisters, they manage to pull back the VP difference. With the game ending at 16VP, the next round looks like it will decide it.
Round 5
Viper continues to prove her defensive worth (since her sword and pistol attacks have done nothing). She dazes Ant-Man with Coiled Serpent, after he attacks her, having previously used her Displacement Ring to jump onto the infinity canister.
This frees up Baron Zemo to run onto the northern infinity canister.
Rather unwisely, Mysterio leaves his objective to take on Iron Man. He fails to bring down the golden Avenger, who then repulsor-blasts Crossbones out of the game. That leaves Hulk nothing to do but secure the Herb to the Vessel ('puny weed').
Hydra manage to narrow the different once again, but it's too little, too late. Victory to the Avengers!
Back at the Bullpen
What a fun game! I only realised in the final count-up that I could have drawn level by just keeping Mysterio on his objective, but I don't think it could have turned the game. Even if Hydra had managed to push the game to another round, I think the tide had turned by then.
The pivotal choice, I think, was to try and keep Viper safe on her way to the Herb - costing me a whole round of scoring 4VP. Then again, it would have been easy for Hulk to throw her around the board, so I might have lost out anyway.
I was very surprised to find that Viper was my MVP - very fast and took down two enemies while they were attacking her. Can't inflict any damage for toffee, mind, so maybe that's why she's an under-regarded Threat 3.
Her more well-regarded peers, Baron Zemo and Mysterio, didn't kick out much more output either, but they proved fast and elusive, which I guess was the aim of this team. As heavy hitters, Sin and Crossbones weren't great shakes. I guess they do better picking on weaker characters, rather than going head-to-head with the Hulk.
On the other side, Hulk was as impressive as always. This was my first time seeing Captain America (Sam Wilson) and he seemed potent (when not flying into traps or counter-strikes). His leadership ability allows effects to be removed from allies, which seems a perfect fit for Hulk, who has better things to do than shake effects. I think there's something to build a team around there.
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You can argue shades of grey until you’re blue in the face. I say this - when these muscle-bound madmen unleash mayhem, it’s always the rest of us who pick up the bill.
One caped conspirator is as bad as the next - do they think we feel less terrified by their open destruction of public property just because they’re painted red, white and blue?
Dare to dream with me, readers! I say an America free from anonymous vigilantes is the one I want to live in. And I’ll keep the Bugle blowing until I get it!
J. Jonah Jameson
Hur Hur Hur. Hulk smash!!
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