Sunday, 24 December 2017

Get On The Ready Line!

Dear Mum,

I am having a lovely time in the Imperial Guard, and have now joined my company. I have also been given my very own uniform, a nutri-ration pack (2 days’ worth, a feast!) and a four-volume copy of the Regimental Regulations.

Astra Militarum infantry for Warhammer 40,000 with female head from Statuesque Miniatures

Candlemass is coming!

I don’t have a lasgun yet, because the Munitorium supplies haven't reached the front line, but Sergeant Mardy told me that after the next battle there’ll be plenty of gear going spare, which is very good news.

Astra Militarum infantry sergeant for Warhammer 40,000

I have been assigned to 2nd Company, 1st Battalion, 8th Regiment of the 78th Silurians. I have also learned that our world is named Siluria, and not Bitumin-Hive #17, as we always thought. To be part of such an elite fighting force, containing of little more than five million warriors, is a great honour and I hope I don’t let the squad down.

We are celebrating Candlemass in our regiment (is it also Candlemass back at home?). On Candlemass Eve, as a treat, we were issued an extra spoonful of glucose in our morning recaff ration and we all sang O Burn, All Ye Unfaithful. We also heard the enemy singing in the opposite entrenchments, until our Commissar ordered a burst from the promethium sprayers to drown out their heretical chanting.

Astra Militarum flamer for Warhammer 40,000 with female head from Statuesque Miniatures

Later in the day, we left our trenches, and the enemy left their trenches to meet us. This was because our heavy batteries were mistakenly shelling both positions, and no-mans’ land was the safest place to stand. It was cold out in the open, but the impromptu bayonet drill kept us all warm.

Astra Militarum vox-caster for Warhammer 40,000

Some small fluffy crystals of ice have been falling from the sky upon our heads. An evil scheme, we are told, by one the heretics' witches. Our Ministorum Priest ordered us to use the frozen material to construct effigies of our beloved God-Emperor to ward off the evil. One of our platoon used his taproot ration for its nose, and was immediately and rightfully executed for both heresy and wasting food.

Astra Militarum infantry squad for Warhammer 40,000

I hope that my correspondence-comm finds you well. I have tried to write quickly, so you will have time to read this during your allotted 3-minute break, as I wouldn’t want you to wait another 16 hours before finishing it.

Astra Militarum infantry squad for Warhammer 40,000

Merry Candlemass, and Emperor Save Mankind,

Jones 764388


  1. Grand! Humanity's finest, here to save Christmas.
    Are those non-standard-issue heads? Has your commissar been informed?

    1. The sergeant is of my few remaining Empire Militia heads, because sergeants need moustaches.

      The female heads are from Statuesque Miniatures, and are very cool (I reckon the Imperial Guard should be egalitarian about its cannon fodder).

      The Commissar can't complain about the alt heads - she's getting one too!

    2. Not _entirely_ egalitarian - the chaps get issued helmets and the gals each get a beret.

    3. I have some baldy gals on order, so spare helmets should just slip over them. But the heads will get a lot more nonstandard than berets when I'm done!