Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Chaos Orderly

Box number two was retrieved from the hunchbacked cripple who doesn't deliver my mail this afternoon. For a 75% saving, I got a box of twelve Chaos Warriors, missing only a couple of arms, heads and four bases. What kind of wasteful lunatics are out there? Who buys a set just to use that much of it? Is Carlos Slim a Warhammer buff?

Anyway, in what felt like no time at all, I had the first eight assembled: -

Virtually 25% of a WoffBoot army, and they aren't even a legal unit until there's ten of them.
I reconnected with my cellar-dwelling teenage years doing this. The smell of the plastic glue, the roar of my disinterested loved ones - it's all coming back to me. Three hours vanished in blissful silence as I sliced axes off the sprues using my traditional Stanley knife and nail clipper combo.

This is Bruce. You won't like him when he's angry.
Luckily, he's taken up Tai Chi recently. 
Champions are extra horny, which is sad for them.
The Chaos Warriettes haven't been greenlighted yet. 

The set is good, easy to use and not too fiddly. They aren't the most dynamic models, perhaps - there's a uniformity to their stance that isn't exactly chaotic. This is particularly bad in the range of positions you can put their arms, which have a ball joint at the elbow. Despite this, they really only sit in one position. All their weapons have to be held somewhere between eleven and two o' clock unless you want them waving in the face of the next door bloke, or looking like they've suddenly gained realistic weight.

"Got the time?"
"Nope. My wrist won't turn far enough to see my watch. Plus, you know, this huge shield."
I can't complain, though. They certainly make an ominous unit, a heavy pack of armour-clad psychos striding to war. I've kept the conversions to a bare minimum, mostly because I want to keep as many spare parts for the marauders as I can. I did do a little fiddling with the musician, who's been culling mutant cows: -

One toot and it plays Dixie. Dunno how he plays it through the helmet, though.
And the guy on the right here has a head from one of the Viking sprues: -

Under their helmets, all Chaos Warriors suffer from the 681-685 result
on the Personal Attributes table in Slaves to Darkness 
Otherwise, they're very much as GW ordained in their creation. I've already discovered my twin-axe-wielding general doesn't rank up with any of these eight in any way. Lucky I've got four more to stick together, then, I may be able to create a bit of space for him.

More when they're painted!


  1. Well they look iconically tough and menacing (although I agree with the discrepancy that soldiers of chaos would rank up as solid and disciplined as Roman legionaries - does the fluff ever try and explain that?)

    And this is probably a silly question: I assume that is not 'special' modelling sand on the bases, and that you just plundered it from the nearest Kattegat beach?

  2. Er... no, it's special. A daub of PVA and then a shuffle through the GW-approved plastic trough.