Grom The Paunch

Promoting a positive body image since 1984...

Let's jump on that chariot and ride straight towards Type 2 Diabetes!


Grom originally started as a Regiment of Renown character (who didn't look remotely paunchy); he then graduated to his very own chariot a decade later, and had a starring role in the 4th Ed box set (as a cost-saving cardboard cut-out).

I've used the 4th Ed Grom as a general on foot, but I still had the chariot going spare and no inclination to do anything with it. But when I saw this Avatars of War Goblin King, I knew I had found my Grom.

"Consider your fat ass retired."

This Avatars of War model is such a perfect modern update for Grom the Paunch that I strongly suspect that the design brief was "hey, can you do us a modern update for Grom the Paunch?"

Eschewing my standard colour for goblin skin, I decided to go as pale as possible (a reference to Immortan Joe, I should add, not any 'white orc' of the Hobbit disaster trilogy). I started with Nurgling Green, a Biel-Tan Green wash, then building up layers of Flayed One Flesh and White Scar until I was happy.

Beneath his cloak is a small barrel and a frog for a snack. Awesome.

The rest of the model is a fairly started mix of rusty metal, leather straps and grey fur. I also found that adding a touch of Nihilakh Oxide to the runes of his clearly-stolen Dwarf axe gave a nice effect.

And with a charioteer like that, I could hardly go with the standard plastic wolves...

If Ben Hur 2016 featured this, you'd watch it.

This trio of wolves belong to the 40k Fenrisian Wolves set (aka "Bollocks To Sci-Fi - Let's Make An Awesome Standard Wolf Kit"). They look great, especially as they all seem to be straining and pulling in different directions, which is probably the appropriate reaction of a wolf strapped to a chariot.

I didn't have Niblet the goblin standard bearer. Maybe Grom ate him.

For the wolves, I took a tip from Kraken and actually tried to match what they looked like in real life (as opposed to my usual trick of 'drybrush grey over black').

I began with a grey primer, gave the top fur a wash of Nuln Oil, which was then highlighted with the Fang, then Dawnstone, then White Scar. The underside was drybrushed with XV-88, then Zandri Dust.

Eyes and teeth were based black, then picked out with Blood Red and Bleached Bone respectively.

The wolves are brilliant models, although if I have two complaints: 1) the fur sculpting disappears on the underside, clearly revealing the join lines and 2) the claws are really poorly defined (to the point that I didn't try to paint them). I can understand the former as a moulding necessity - but even the original plastic wolves have claws I can paint!

The larger wolves force the chariot axle to lean upwards - which contrives to make Grom look heavier.

Lacking a banner bearer (I never had the Niblet model), I added a standard from the Orc Boar Boyz, which looks great and tattered. Sadly, it also meant I had to break out my freehand: at first I tried to paint a misty mountain (since Grom's other title is The Paunch of Misty Mountain), but then realised there isn't must exciting about a grey triangle, so threw a couple of glyphs in there.

The back of the banner had a wolf head glyph (thank you House Stark), which I think came out even better than the front.

At least this the view of the model I'll get during game - screw my opponent.

I've always liked Grom since he starred in a Bill King-penned story in WD158. It was actually titled 'Eltharion', but who's going to care to a moody elf when you have a fat goblin rampaging around Yvresse?

No-one, that's who.

I'm not looking to add many Special Characters to my Waaagh!, but I'll make an exception for this guy, not least because he has delivered victory in his first two outings. Go Paunch!