Skypehammer Round 1: Fire In the Noosphere

Necessity being the mother of daft ideas, we're attempting our most ambitious series of games yet - an eight-player, narrative campaign played over Skype!

Papa Nurgle may lock us down, but in the Noosphere, we are free.

I, Stylus, will be keeping this as straightforward as possible, as over half the participants are Skypehammer novices, and for my own sanity:

• Two factions (The Alliance and The Cabal), each with four different armies.
• Factions will pair off against their opposing armies in 500pt battles.
• All matched play rules apply, and all supplemental rules are available.
• Armies can only be selected from the models in my collection.
• No restrictions on how armies are built (i.e. detachments), but every army must have a warlord that must be named and cannot be changed.
• Every army gets 5CP, no more or less. These can be spent on pre-game stratagems.

I'll be hosting all the games, but won't be taking part as a player.

And with no further ado, we'll commence our opening battle: DZTV's Mikey P will be taking Adeptus Mechanicus against Daemons of Tzeentch, led WoofBoot's very own Kraken!

Adeptus Mechanicus - Forge World Mars

+++ NOOSPHERIC UPLOAD INCOMING +++ Omnispex readings detected advanced telemetry on Grid Section 31813-114 +++ Magos-Explorator estimates 0.07% chance of STC tech +++ But presence of non-terrestrial voidforms renders calculations imprecise. Take reinforced patrol and render the grid section free to scan. +++ NOOSPHERIC UPLOAD ENDS +++

• Jonathon Fyve - Tech-Priest Dominus (HQ) (Warlord)
  Macrostubber, Omnissian Axe, Volkite Blaster
  Warlord Trait: Necromechanic 
  Relic: Autocaduceus of Arkhan Land
• Tech-Priest Engineer (HQ)
  Laspistol, Omnissian Axe, Servo-arm
  Relic: Pater Cog-Tooth
• 6 x Skitarii Rangers (Troops)
  6 x Galvanic Rifle
• 5 x Skitarii Vanguards (Troops)
  Alpha: Arc Maul, Arc Pistol, 3 x Radium Carbine, 1 x Arc Rifle
• 5 x Skitarii Vanguards (Troops)
  Alpha: Radium Pistol, Taser Goad, 2 x Radium Carbine, 2 x Plasma Caliver
• 2 x Ironstrider Ballistarii (Fast)
  Broad Spectrum Data-tether, Twin Cognis Autocannon
• Onager Dunecrawler (Heavy)
  2 x Cognis Heavy Stubber, Neutron Laser

Points: 500 | Level: 40 |

The Fire Choir - Daemons of Tzeentch

~ A rent in reality, sliver-wide, has opened up and we have a toehold within it ~ Men-machines are coming to end our incursion before the appointed time and this will not do ~ The Great Manipulator has deemed that we alone shall cascade out onto the surface of the grey world and paint it will out beautiful colours. ~ Destroy these machine-men so that we may turn this toe into a claw, this sliver into a gouge. ~

It's me, Kraken! I shall be commanding the Daemons in this campaign, and have somehow drawn front seat in the Cabal's assault. I've got 500 points of Tzeentchian Horror Bomb right here. Not as subtle in its approach as a Tzeentchian ought to be, perhaps. Sometimes, you just can't wait. You've just got to be the change.

• Xl'ch'tz, The Unmaker - Changecaster (HQ) (Warlord)
  Staff of Change
  Warlord trait: Daemonspark Relic: The Impossible Robe
• Flickering Flames, Gaze of Fate
• 20 x Horrors (Troop)
  Coruscating flames, Daemonic Icon, Instrument of Chaos
• Exalted Flamer (Elite)
  Fire of Tzeentch, Tongues of flame
• 3 x Flamers (Elite)
  Flickering Flames
• 6 x Screamers (Fast)
  Lamprey bite

The first deception of the night - that Changecaster isn't mounted on a Disc of Tzeentch. That was me misreading the list, but we played it correctly. Just an illusion, then.

Points: 496 | Level: 28 |

Mission and Deployment

We're playing the Eternal War - Crusade mission from Chapter Approved 2019. From the start of the second turn, Victory Points are scored by securing objectives, plus the usual First Strike, Linebreaker and Slay the Warlord points.

The battlefield is a 4x4' desert. I deliberately left some uncluttered spaces, so the board would be clearer on webcam, but those building nonetheless provide a lot of line-of-sight blocks.

The AdMech deploy a long screen of Vanguard - Rangers - Vanguard across their deployment front, close to three of the objectives. The heavy guns sit back and centre, overseen by Tech-Priest Dominus Jonathon Fyve.

The Tzeentch Daemons seem oddly wary of placing themselves directly in front of all those guns. The big pack of Horrors immediately jump into the Warp, and the Screamers swim behind the largest Cantina.

The Flamers can't grab much cover behind the radar station, but can at least screen the Exalted Flamer and Changecaster.

Turn 1 - Adeptus Mechanicus

+++NOOSPHERIC RETRIEVAL COMMENCES +++

Timestamp 0.00sec
Force Deployment =1
Format (group cohesion) => Screen/Bombard 001010
Forward elements a%100-b%100-c%100
Rear/Support element %100
Scout element %100
Command elements A%100-b%100
+++ All parameters normal within tolerance +++ Dominus commands forward elements and .5 command elements to move forward and commence scans +++ Initial ping good with high percentage chance previously unobtained STC domiciles in good condition +++ Data tethers all secure, visual gain holding at 33/27/10010

The Skitarii screen pushes forward along the front. The Tech-Priest Enginseer leads the Plasma Vanguard squad to grab the objective on the left flank, the Rangers move onto the right flank one, and the Arc Vanguard Squad move to support them.

Timestamp 0.51sec
+++ Void flare observed by Scout element +++ Local temperature spikes detected on thermal sweep +++ visual feed shows unstable fire columns moving in apparent synchronisation behind nearby Radar uplink +?+ preliminary calculations indicate p<0.000001 that phenomenon of natural causation +++ J-5 disengages safety protocols on all LAN fire systems, Scout element engaging at range +++ Logic Dictat = overuse of local O2 supply though focused barrage pattern g4ps4 will disrupt hostile Warpcaust +++ Support element providing barrage

Targets are hard to come by in the Shooting Phase - the Screamers are totally hidden, which means it's a bad day to be a Flamer. The Rangers open up first with their Galvanic Rifles and drop two of them.

This enthusiasm proves to be a bit of a problem, since the surviving Flamer is now totally screened by the radar station, and the rest of the army has nothing to shoot at!

With a veiled data-blurt about recycling those Rangers into paperclips, the AdMech turn ends there.

AdMech 0 : 0 Daemons

Turn 1 - Daemons of Tzeentch

Timestamp 1.53sec
+++ Support element indicates barrage fired +++ scout element reporting thermal spike ablated +++ visual confirmation by Forward element a +++ secondary observations from Forward elements b-c non-confirmatory, illogical movement still detected with high-p value for Voidform presence

With no time to waste, the Daemons race forward! The Changecaster advances behind the relative safety of the plasma reactor, the Exalted Flamer makes use of his wide bottom to both secure the back objective and peek out at the Vanguard.

The lone Flamer is rewarded for his good fortune when he is sent to lead the attack by himself.

On the other flank, the Screamers race forward, ready for a long charge, and keeping one flipper on the right-flank objective if that fails.

The Psychic Phase wipes out three of the Vanguard with a hefty Smite, and the Flamer follows up in the Shooting Phase by roasting the two survivors, pushing them off one of their objectives.

The Screamers fail their charge, but with First Strike, the first VP of the campaign goes to the Daemons!



AdMech 0 : 1 Daemons

Turn 2 - Adeptus Mechanicus

Timestamp 1.74sec
! Forward element a0% no return on status ping
! Thermal spike repeated, grid coordinates 94% dissimilar to previous detection

+++ Vidlink analysis from non-responsive unit complete +++ previously unpredicable occurrence of equipment overheat at 15073.15K +++ this exceeds advised standard operative tolerances +++ J-5 sequencing to protocol 54g32d +++ upload of STC with screengrab and AutoCAD digiperceptives commencing in good order

With barely a pause to dress the lines, the AdMech unload onto the oncoming Daemons. Predictably, the lone Flamer doesn't survive long.

The Screamers hold up somewhat better to the barrage of shots - when the whole army has a 4++ invulnerable save, armour-busting artillery isn't the best tool - half the unit survives, and passes morale.

AdMech 2 : 1 Daemons

Turn 2 - Daemons of Tzeentch

Timestamp 2.595sec

+++ Max ammunition displacement rate achieved across all surviving units +++ Minimal disruption to Void presence ++? Augurs display anomalous energy-reality equivalence in red-grade proximity to Forward elements +++ Let current hostiles=7, J-5 looping fire sequence and current protocol, proceeding on...///

The three remaining Daemon units are each on an objective, so they start the turn racking up three points.

The Screamers fly over the heads of the Vanguard, to hover above them in a suitably predatory fashion. The Exalted Flamer bounces downfield to get into range of the Dunecrawler, and the Changecaster continues to cover behind the plasma reactor.

-!-!-!- Timeline overwrite detected, source unknown, %chance of non-heretical provenance=0

Timestamp 2.595sec
+++ Current hostiles=27 +++ Severe temperature fluctuations detected +++ Forward element b %0, vital function on predicted sub-par performance gradient ++9+beholdanewhorizontotherealmychildren+++ severe data chatter impacting subroutines +++ locked to command interfaces only +++



Then then the Horror bomb drops! Twenty hot-pink aberrations jump out of the Warp and form up in front of the Rangers, while ensuring they keep a hold of the back objective and buffing range of the Changecaster.

In the Psychic Phase, the Changecaster use the Magical Boon stratagem to cast both Gaze of Fate and Flickering Flames on the Horrors.

Then the Daemons get a Shooting Phase - the Exalted Flamer blasts blue fire at the Duncrawler, only to discover that the Mechanicus also have invulnerable saves, and only chips the paint.

The Horrors spew magical fire in all directions, immolating the whole squad of Rangers and knocking off a few more wounds from the Dunecrawler.

Timestamp 2.60sec

+++Vidlink of spatial anomaly attached//=> ?aerial/marine lifeforms in approach, illogical attack vector with high inefficiency noted. ??Aggressive display with potential inhibitory intent and/or ritual significance to participant. Zero percent effectiveness against Skitarii recorded

And then comes the Assault Phase - the Horrors fall short, having already removed their closest target.

The Screamers jump down on the Vanguard and Enginseer - they make a concerted effort to snack on the Enginseer, but he escapes their lamprey bite with a single wound remaining.

AdMech 2 : 4 Daemons

Turn 3 - Adeptus Mechanicus

Timestamp 2.61secs

+++ Petromyzontiformic lifeforms abruptly in close proximity +++ vector adherence non-linear and non-Euclidean, predictive tracking/interceptive munitions ineffective +++ Forward element c %80, Command element b %50 +9++MY EYES I CAN FEEL THEM AGAIN HOW CAN THIS BE+9++ Non-critical Noospheric queries dismissed under current engagement rationing of processor power +++ Logical Dictat = Ballistic response will reestablish reality under acceptable prognosticant templates, suggest increase in supply of hi-V Pb to suppress Warp Incursion (see previous studies, attached files) +++

It's another two VP for the AdMech, who can hold an objective even when it's engulfed by thrashing stingrays. The Dunecrawler is quickly repaired by the Dominus' expertise.

The Vanguard and Enginseer quick pull of out combat, which opens up the Screamers to the Ironstrider autocannons, who wipe them out.

That leaves the Dominus and the Dunecrawler left to thin the pack of Horrors - the macrostubber actually has a better effect than the heavy guns, but after five Horrors have been dropped, Reality Blinks and they all come right back!

AdMech 4 : 4 Daemons

Turn 3 - Daemons of Tzeentch

Timestamp 3.42secs

+++Petromyzontiforms eliminated +++ Numerical assessment of thermal anomaly troublesome +++ Whilst recent local hotspot enumeration indicates suppression value of some 1.5% after 314% RRD (Recommended Radium Dosage), current enumeration indicates no numerical differential achieved 9++ ? is this the Fission Phenomenon previously associated with <<REDACTED>> in the Cadian Gate ++9whereoneisslainalegionreturnsthrowyourbodiesintothepyrelittlemenyourfinalchangeapproaches99+ Current percentage of STC scan deemed inadmissable due to sequential stack errors +++ Logical Dictat = Scanning must be achieved faster +++

All the action is now on a single flank and after claiming two more VP for their objectives, the Pink Horrors surge forward towards the Dunecrawler.

Boosted by Flickering Flames, the Shooting Phase is more productive than expected, and the Dunecrawler is knocked down to half-wounds. The following charge ties up both Dunecrawler and Dominus, though their weight of attacks does very little to harm either.

AdMech 4 : 6 Daemons

Turn 4 - Adeptus Mechanicus

Timestamp 3.81sec

9++ Current grid sector is superimposing itself on itself, grid coordinates returning as 99.99.99 recurrent ++9 Support element = %10, detecting thermal dispersal errors on all vents, J-5 attempting override to prevent shutdown +9+9thehorrorsthehorrorsthehorrorsthehorrors99+ Let Axe=1 in all obtainable readouts of <<REDACTED>> within manually-distant perimeter 9++9+ Scout element engaged, percussive stamp routines enabled, predicted tamping of fire anomalies within 3-5 minutes at current rate +++ Insufficient efficiency likely, alternate threat response calculating 9++

Just a single point for the AdMech this time, as their castle is swarming with Daemons. The Dunecrawler and Dominus pull out of combat, allowing the Ironstriders and Vanguard to unleash their fire on the Horrors.

This cuts down a fair few of them, and the Ironstriders charge in to see what their chicken legs can achieve. A few more neverborn are kicked back into unreality, although Reality Blinks once again, returning another Horror to the fray.

AdMech 5 : 6 Daemons

Turn 4 - Daemons of Tzeentch

Timestamp 4.99sec

+++Final message follows, Bhinaric conversion not recommended due to sensitive content REPEAT do not translate +++ 01001111 01101000 00100000 01100111 01101111 01100100 00101100 00100000 01110111 01100101 00100111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100110 01100001 01101001 01101100 01100101 01100100 00101110 00100000 01010100 01101000 01100101 01111001 00100111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 01111001 01110111 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00101110 00100000 01001101 01111001 00100000 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101111 01101110 00100000 01100110 01101001 01110010 01100101 00100001 00100000 01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01010011 01010100 01000011 00101100 00100000 01101001 01110100 01110011 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101100 00100001 00100000 01010011 01011001 01001110 01010100 01000001 01011000 00100000 01000101 01010010 01010010 01001111 01010010 00100000 01010010 01000101 01000100 01001111 00100000 01000110 01010010 01001111 01001101 00100000 01010011 01010100 01000001 01010010 01010100 +++ All9 returns neg9tive

Racking up three VPs, and engaged along all fronts, the Changecaster decides to add his combat prowess to the fray. He charges into the Dominus, and then glances at the Changecaster's datasheet to experience that same heartsinking moment that all Daemon players get after they've charged their Tzentch HQs into combat.

Remarkably, the Changecaster almost managed to take down the Dominus. But his biggest achievement was riding his invulnerable save and not giving up Slay the Warlord.

AdMech 5 : 9 Daemons

Turn 5 - summary

With all the big guns now engaged, and no way back for the AdMech, we call the game at the end of Turn 5. The AdMech get another point for the Vanguard's objective, and the Daemons claim two more, plus Linebreaker.

It's a convincing win for The Cabal. Magic beats logic!

AdMech 6 : 12 Daemons

Force Redepl9yment indicated.
The STC remains. We shall return.

+++ NOOSPHERIC RETRIEVAL INCOMPLETE, DATAFEED SHUTTING DOWN +++

Campaign Map

And no campaign would be complete without a map! Thanks to Monkey for creating these assets.

Locker Room

Well, I enjoyed myself! I'm glad we kept it small scale (not least because there was another game right after). It kept things going along quick and manageable, and also forced some tactical choices - when you don't have any units to spare, you can't really leave one to score a backline objective.

I think it was a touch match-up for the AdMech (all the draws were randomly-chosen) - their heavy guns were wasted against the Deamonic saves, and the Tzeentchians still have enough ranged threat to clear away the screens.

On the other hand, if Kraken hadn't made a good number of 4++ saves, it could have a been a shooting gallery.

This was also the first Skype game to be played out in front of an audience - other members of the Alliance and Cabal were cheering from the sidelines - which did add another fun element to it.

Onwards to the next one!