Thursday, 30 August 2012

WoffBoot VI - Orcs and Goblins vs Ogre Kingdoms

Dawn rose over the valley to the earthquaking thumping of a great mammoth romping down the hillside. To his right a collection of cannon wielding ogres, and on his other side exiled Butcher M’grash.

M’grash had failed to follow in the traditional line of gut magic and was sent on a fool’s errand to search for this item he had never heard of or cared about. Grabbing a handful of loyal ogres that he could scare into submission, and charming one of the camp’s farmyard animals (the mammoth) he had left the camp and headed south to the Border Princes.

M’grash summoned his retinue to stop, spying on the hill the other side of the valley the unmistakably height of a giant’s shoulders lolling along; the giant appeared to be bellowing along to an orcish song.

Signalling his men to prepare themselves, the ogres charged down the hill. M’grash sent his cook and cannon wielding friends down the hill on the flank, however unbeknownst to him that there were spiders hiding in the woods.

The valley they entered must have once seen some incursion as the winds of magic avoided the place like swirling eddies in the chaos and left the ogres unamused.

Orcs turned to face the interlopers and also turned their attention ready for a scrap and jump down the hill. Goblin archers pulled their bows, but in their eagerness to shoot a target got themselves confused and failed to do anything. The giant followed down the hill, and a large contingent of goblins appeared form the trees.


M’grash summoned what little magic remained in the area to infuse his body with the power of the beasts and commandered his men to march forward. They were keen, but even ogres are wary of giants, and they did not move with the gusto that M’grash expected.

Worse still as they charged forward the goblins released their surprise package of cannonball flailing and spinning fanatics badly damaging the main ogre unit; and spiders pounced from the trees on to the belchers: their poison fangs biting deep into the unexpecting missile troops and forcing them to run.

M’grash banged his ironfists together and beckoned at the orcs.

The giant stormed forward, unafraid; but the orc boss misjudged his run and stopped just shy of the monstrous threat.

M’grash lifted his might sword and imbued by the strength of Horros and knowing his trusty mammoth was close by swung hard into the giant’s knees. He angered it, and Brob (the giant) lifted his club high above his head smashing down on the place M’grash was seconds before.

The first that M’grash was aware of the small goblin wizard hiding behind the fence was when there was an almighty explosion of purple plasma and the poor greenskin imploded, then exploded, then rained blood.

Fighting on, the goblin spearmen charged into the flank and the mammoth waded in, tusks shaking and scattering helpless goblins underfoot. The mamoth’s charge was unabated by the minor distraction that was the goblins huffed by the general’s side.

The Orc boss regained compusre and charged in to aid the giant just as the the last goblin fell and the giant started to run.

General to general the orc and ogre faced off, but still imbued with the lore of beasts: M’grash was able to scythe down the Black Orc warlord.

Brob turned to face to see the thundertusk charging up the hill. As strong and tough as he was, the terrifying beast was too much. Brob was impaled on one of its great horns, then knocked flat and trampled by the huge creature.

Arrows flew as the gobbos let leash a volley of fire on the mammoth.

M’grash group whittled by orcs but still fighting fell when they were set up by five spiders from behind. Having cocooned the helpless belchers earlier, they were back for more prey and the rear charge was enough to distract the ogres enough for the leaderless orcs to finally crush the ogres.

Only the mammoth remained; and seeing his general dead the mammoth left the battlefield hurt but alive ready for another battle.

The orcs were victorious, but at what cost? Their leader lay wounded, their spearman scattered, their wizard exploded and their giant broken.

1 comment:

  1. "Right Boys," Gnashbad said, picking himself out of the bloody, trampled soil and dusting his heavy armour off. "Dat woz a test, ta see ow ya'd do wivvout me. Good noos - you passed. Bad noos - I don't get ta crump any of yas."

    His boys howled, shaking their gore-drenched choppas.

    "Oi! None of dat! Shuttit, dere's ratmen coming over the hill there, and we's got ta git reddy. Someone fetch anuvver gobbo shaman, that one split. And get up on that hill."

    Suitably chastened, the boys hurried to obey their leader. This discipline got results, they had to give him that. But it didn't mean they had to like it.