Age of Sigmar 3: The Search For Sigmar

One whiff of a revised system, and I'm pulled right back into the mortal realms

Let's play Age of Sigmar!

Electric Duel-a-Ghoul: Flesh-Eater Courts vs Disciples of Tzeentch

Sir Loin ate heartily from his venison stew, scooping the generous cuts of meat from their thick, warm gravy before sinking his teeth into the trencher with a satisfying crunch.

"Lord Gnaw," he acknowledged the king's emissary and proffered him a goblet of ruby-dark wine. "I hear of dark rumblings upon our northern frontier."

"Indeed," the courtier took the offering and drank deep. Lord Gnaw was a vast man, almost bent under the great weight of his shoulders, with his leathery cloak wrapped about him like wings. "The followers of the false gods are attempting to blot out the sky with their magics."

"Barbarians," Sir Loin opined, picking through his platter of sweetbreads and choosing the freshest pancreas.

"The King wishes us to ride forth without delay. There is no time to summon the yeomanry; take only your knights."

Sir Loin rose from his meal. "I have a dozen of my finest warriors at hand. Let us fetch them from their supper table and thence to battle. The quest will sharpen their appetite."

A quest for the cannibal knight?
It's All-Skype Fight Night!

Smeltdown: Ironjawz vs Disciples of Tzeentch

The Ark of Alternatives was unfolding like a tangram flower. Complex panels of engraved and enamelled bone shifted slowly through the air as the Tzeentchian choir chanted and hummed around it. Sparks of blue and pink light snapped and crackled from piece to piece. Already, you could hardly tell it had been a box at all.

What would it become? 

"Magister!" 

The apologetic acolyte was clearly reluctant to intrude. Zonaranoz, chief Magister of the Tzeentchian Throng, waved his apologies aside - if this was important enough for the acolyte to enter during the days-long ritual, it would have to be heard. 

"The greenskins have returned, and in greater numbers!" 

Zonaranoz sighed. "Hardly startling. It is their way. Very well. Muster the guard, we shall drive them off once more."

"But Magister, our guard! They are so few, and the orcs are many!"

Zonaranoz made a complex gesture, and the three nearest candelabra in the room flared with coruscating light. The heavy brass twisted, melting and bulging into new shapes. Within moments, a trio of Flamers writhed in place, guttering fire spilling from their boneless jaws. 

"Then we must create more," Zonaranoz said, smiling. "Come hither, boy. I shall show you a new rite, your very own transformation ahead of the great Day of Change. You shall become more powerful than you ever expected! You shall behold the Vortex, and become its bearer!"

The acolyte smiled nervously, but followed. Zonaranoz felt serene. The choir could manage without him for a time, and the creation of a Mutalith was always enjoyable. 

This should be fun.

Has anyone got a light?
It's All-Skype Fight Night!

WoffBoot XI: Disciples of Tzeentch vs Nighthaunt

My fifth and final game of the WoffBoot. I'm out of the top positions for sure, but a win might just nudge me over the halfway mark

Standing in my way: ghosties and ghoulies and a long-armed beastie - the Nighthaunts have come out to play!

WoffBoot XI: Disciples of Tzeentch vs Stormcast Eternals (again!)

Four games into the WoffBoot tournament, and my winning streak went down the Escalation escalator.

But here comes a chance at redemption - a Border War scenario against another Stormcast army!

WoffBoot XI: Disciples of Tzeentch vs Ironjawz

Game 3 and my coalition of chaos faces an Ironjawz army.

Specifically, it's my Ironjawz army, so how could I go wrong?

WoffBoot XI: Disciples of Tzeentch vs Stormcast Eternals

A new dawn rises over the WoffBoot, and I play my second game of the tournament.

I take on the good guys in Blood And Glory: here come the Stormcast!

WoffBoot XI: Disciples of Tzeentch vs Nurgle Rotbringers

The dust settles on another WoffBoot, and while the results are there for all to see, that doesn't tell the whole story. So settle in for the first of my five battle reports.

It's a Tzeentch vs Nurgle grudge match!

Any Old Iron: Ironjawz vs Disciples of Tzeentch

Bulla, Megaboss of Da Flat Iron Clan and warlord of Da Wasted Plains, gave a hard stare to the stone icon, then headbutted it. He didn't like the way that vulture head was looking at him, so he smashed his forehead into it for a second time. The stone was starting to crumble. Good, he thought. Gork damn him if he was going to take any cheek from a statue.

"Dey are coming for it," said his Warchanter, Groll, tapping out his two stikks while he spoke. They had not reached the ear-bursting beat of battle, but the gods-infused stikks were knocking out an impatient tempo. Every heartbeat brought them closer to slaughter.

"Da humies?" Bulla asked. His outriders had seen a large mob of chaos-worshippers drawing close, dragging a large casket of loot behind them.

Groll nodded at the cracked icon. "Dey want dis one, and the one on the uvver side of town."

Bulla thumped his meaty fist against his breastplate. A shower of rust flaked away, but there were still many inches of pig-iron covering several more inches of thick Orruk muscle. "Get da ladz. We'll pull 'em into our jawz, den crush 'em."

The Warchanter gave both Gorkskikk and Morkstikk a determined bash, igniting the green Waaagh! power within. "It's gonna be an 'ard day's night."

Melt down the ferrite!
It's All-Skype Fight Night!

The Ark of Alternatives campaign continues apace (that pace being once a month). This time, I Stylus, will be bringing a new faction to play, hastily painted up during the bank holiday: the Ironjawz!

Remember the Tzaalamo: Tzeentch Mortals vs Slaves to Darkness

Warlock reared up his steed, the creature's dread hooves flailing high in the air, summoning his horsemen around him. Those seven heroes had pursued his coven ever since they had taken custody of the Ark of Alternatives. Now they blundered into his trap and the Disciples of Tzeentch would sink in their talons.

They were great warriors, in their way. Each a mighty champion of the ruinous powers, their weapons soaked red. But against the inscrutable machinations of the Great Architect, they were lost sheep. And sheep, Warlock thought, were born to be sheared. 

Civil war? Not quite -
It's All-Skype Fight Night!

Continuing our Ark of Alternatives campaign, our next fight sees me, Kraken, as the forces of chaos. A small, select squad of infamous Slaves to Darkness, known names across the realms, has mustered to try and destroy the Ark before it can be opened. Can the Tzeentch Arcanists gathered under Stylus's banners (that's me, in bold) see me off?

It's Raining Men: Disciples of Tzeentch vs Brayherd

The narrative campaign continues, and this time we're trying out one of the General Compendium's 'matched play' scenarios: "Gift From the Heavens". 

It's a nifty set-up where you score cumulative points for claiming objectives - crashed meteors - the twist being that they don't crash until the second turn, so you don't know where they'll land...

... and of course we added our own twist: these aren't meteors, but Khorne Champions, who are not keen to be claimed, and will attack anything within range until they are subdued.

Watch Out For That Meteorite!
It's All-Skype Fight Night!

Ritual of Rot: Nurgle Mortals vs Tzeentch Arcanites

In keeping with our incredibly strict 'follow the current releases' policy here at WoffBoot, we're celebrating Tzaanuary with a Disciples vs Nurgloids Age of Sigmar battle. Ready to disrupt the ritual?

My Potato's got Blight!
It's All-Skype Fight Night!

Mean Streets: Chaos vs Destruction

Prologue

"Glory you shall have! Glory and skulls aplenty! The least of you will ride on the mighty steeds of our lord Tzeentch, flecked with silver and horn!"

The host cried raucously, shaking their weapons. Proving that their daemonic lord wasn't just spinning wild tales, a pair of disc-riding lords orbited round him. Weird lights flickered round their helmed heads. 

"Will you earn these prizes? Will you be my champions?" the daemon prince Tzcharazang asked. 

Oh yes, yes they would. By the thousand names of Tzeentch, the mortal fools would do whatever he bid. Their screamed affirmatives were just window dressing, he knew he had their loyalty. 

"Then all I ask is that you take the Ark of Alternatives in your chariots! Take it to the heart of ruined Karendorf!" the prince told them. "Bring the blessings of change to their broken temple, and let the splendour of Tzeentch shine where the hammer god once held court!"

Howling their hearts out, they rode, and the Ark rode with them.

They didn't ride alone. As the hooves of the riders hammered the ancient, frost-blasted streets, thundering towards the heart of the long-abandoned town, other sounds echoed their progress. The beat of savage drums. The blare of crude trumpets. The chanting of a single name, over and over. 

Soaring over his legion on cobalt wings, the daemon prince saw movement in the sidestreets. Soft paws scrabbled on the cobbles, hairy legs crept along the shattered walls. The creak of axles even, as chariots rattled into action. 

Greenskins, then, a score of tribes from their banners. And more than he expected. No matter - he'd promised his tribesmen blood, and the colour was of no concern to them. A clumsy alliance of primitives was no match for his hardened band. They'd probably spend as much time fighting each other for dominance as they would the intruders. 

That name, though. A leader, perhaps? Something must have brought them together, after all. Was Tzeentch sending one last test before the Ark could be activated? 

No, no mere bullying goblin would keep his destiny from being fulfilled. Tzcharazang cawed softly to himself, safe in the knowledge his day had come at last. 

"Grom," the greenskins chanted. "Grom! Grom! Grom!"

At Last We Reunite!

It's All-Skype Fight Night!

Roll out!

Has it really been almost a year since our last Age of Sigmar SkypeBoot? Kraken and I resolved to put an end to this shameful situation with a high-octane chase of cavalry and chariots. We may have been a bit too enthused about throwing every mounted model on the table - both sides clock in around 2000pts according to the new system (not that we paid it any heed) - but we have a marvellous new theatre to play in.

Ah, the time flies. In fairness, both of us have been adding to our miniatures collection (the real life, flesh-and-blood pre-painted kind), so big scraps have been lower on the agenda than usual. All the same, good to be back in our respective saddles. 

Without further ado, we bring you a Mad Max inspired scenario. Two mounted warbands clash, one trying to carry a vital cargo through a raider-infested bottleneck!

WoffBoot X - Stormcast vs Chaos Alliance: No Stopping The Sigmartrain!

The dust had settled on our first battle, but now Generals Kasfunatu and East were looking interested in trying a game. And, after all, it was only midnight...

... and the full moon was out.

(So this will be more of a narrative report, rather than a turn-by-turn. I was chiefly occupied with keeping myself topped up with caffeine, so could do little more than take photos, rather than more detailed notes)

WoffBoot X - Chaos Beasts vs Stormcast: The Longest Day

WoffBoot X was always going to be Star Wars-themed (we had the new film to watch in the evening, a Rebellion board game, about 50 X-wing models and a marbletop kitchen counter that looked like a starfield).

But it wouldn't be right not to roll some Warhammer dice. So General Leofa brought out his three-basecoat Stormcast to face my Beasts of Chaos.

Age of Sigmar: The Beastly Storm Breaks

It's been a while since we've had a battle report, much less a fantasy one - so it's back we go to the Age of Sigmar!

Let the Realm of Fire Ignite!
It's All-Skype Fight Night!

Hoppity Goes to Town: Moonclan Grots vs Chaos Mortals

Prologue

Hopslat da Bold looked up at the pink sun that washed the Realm of Chaos, counted the hours on his fingers, and wished he knew how to tell the time from looking at the sun. Or how to count, for that matter.

"We iz running late," he guessed, and clambered back on top of his Giant Cave Squig, an affectionate beast who already already devoured two herders, three lesser squigs and answered to the name of 'Bouncing' Betty.

The rest of the Moonclan raid bustled past him, a dozen grots trying to corral more than twice their number of squiggly beasts, including a couple of massive Manglers, who were being sedated with the last of their Nightcap Mushrooms.

"Humies in da treeline!" Da Knights of Shiitake, who had been hopping ahead as scouts, now hopped back to call warning. Panic rippled through the grots as they fumbled for weapons among forage bags bulging with their freshly-stolen shrooms.

It had been a little cheeky, Hopslat had to admit, to go scrumping mushrooms in the backyard of Chaos, but they were almost home free. Get through the forest at the far end of this field and their shaman would be waiting to zap them back home.

"Get yer 'eads down!" Hopsplat ordered. "An' stampede!"

Prod Its Back And Hold On Tight!

It's All-Skype Fight Night!

After a brief summer hiatus, the battle reports return, and with it, the Age of Sigmar. I, Stylus, shall be as Grotty as plain text can manage.

And I, Kraken, veteran of a thousand some write-ups, shall boldly write in bold!

Scenarios are, by all accounts, the way to go in AoS, and with a stampede of squigs to contend with, the 'Breakthrough' scenario seemed a good fit.

Essentially, my 'Invading' force has to get off the opposite end of the board, with a victory spectrum that ranges from one-third (major victory to me) to none (major victory to the 'Blocking' force).

Each commander has a special heroic ability that can speed up, or slow down, the invading forces, and the game is a random length, starting from the end of Turn 5 (and definitely ending by Turn 7).

Can the Forces of Chaos stop the terrible Squigalaunche? Read on!

Fields of Gingham: Highborn Aelfs vs Beasts of Chaos

"So simple, even a small, easily-distracted child could follow the rules!" - with this in mind, I decided to put Age of Sigmar to the test, and challenge General Palafox to his first game.

Fictional Creatures in the Background May Appear Bigger than They Are

Hedge of Darkness: Sylvaneth vs Chaos Mortals

Well, our first Age of Sigmar battle worked out pretty well. Now we're going to push the limits and see if it was a fluke.

Tonight, the arboreal guardians go hunting monsters in the deepwood - Forest Spirits against Chaos Monsters!

Picnic time for teddy bears...

Battle Report: Age of AoSBoot

Say, I hear there's this Age of Sigmar game that's caused a bit of a stir.

With deep breaths and a certain amount of trepidation, Kraken and I took to Skype - battle report and first impressions will follow...

It's an Oldsmobile reference. Don Draper would love it.