Savage Orcs vs Dwarves: The Fate of Gazarkhame

Big Pikkle blew gently on the slow match, bringing the burning tip to a bright orange glow. "How long before the charges detonate?" Little Pikkle asked him.

"Grungi alone knows," said Big Pikkle. The dwarven expedition had fought hard to get to the depths of Gazarkhame, suffering many defeats on the way.

Already the warp-spawned daemons controlled the upper levels, having beaten off every other contender. But if the dwarves could seal the entrance to this accursed hold, then their work would be done. It was only a matter of time.

"Holy greenskins!" shouted Little Pikkle. "Orcs!"

"Thrice-cursed savages!" Big Pikkle tore at his beard. The bitterest of their foes had chosen a fine moment to offer battle. He picked up his axe. "I shall lead out the hammerers to delay them. Our war machines will cover us. You must stay and defend the mining tower. Keep out the Grobi until the fuses blow, no matter what."

The Dwarves girded themselves for the final battle. Even at the cost of their lives, Gazarkhame must be buried.

Savage Orcs vs Warriors of Chaos: No Guts, No Glory

Bonekrunk scratched at the stitches around his neck. That stunty treasure couldn't be far off now, and yet another army had turned up to contest for it. In the dank caverns beneath the earth, his Waaagh! had been confronted by...

... well, he didn't know what they were. There was a bit of everything in this army. Marauder horsemen, dragon ogres, armoured warriors, chaos hounds and ogre bulls. No point in trying anything fancy, he decided. Just get stuck in and thump whatever's in front of you.

The chariot and giant both raced forward, eager to start fighting. But Ramgut's lads were dragging their feet again, arguing the toss over something or other. Bonekrunk was having doubts about his shaman's reliability, a feeling that wasn't assuaged when the Shaman suddenly bodged his spell and wounded himself with his own magical feedback.

Savage Orcs vs Skaven: Challenging Times

"Rats," spat Bonekrunk Stonesplitter.

"Wot's da matter?" asked Ramgut, eyeing his warboss for a sign of weakness.

"Rats," Bonekrunk pointed to the far end of the cavern. Two regiments of Skaven had emerged from the side tunnels of the Gazarkhame, almost as if they had been waiting for them.

One of the units was unusually well-ordered and clad in good armour, more like 'ooman soldiers than ratmen. Lumbering out before both troops was a disgusting mass of warped flesh - an Abomination from the dreaded Hell Pit.

"Scared, boss?" Shaman Ramgut was wondering if, once again, he would need to take charge of the Waaagh!

"Stoopid runt!" Bonekrunk clouted the shaman accross the head. "I ain't scared a' no squeaky warpstone-chewers! Now git over to Da Brave 'Arts and hold da flank. I'm taking da lads down the middle."

Savage Orcs vs Wood Elves: Gork Steps In

They must be getting close to the stunty treasure now, Shaman Ramgut thought, because the pointy eared tree-huggers had come out to play. He could see the puny units of archers and tree-people flitting around on the other side of the battlefield.

To his left, Bonekrunk Stonesplitter clattered forward, accompanied by the chariot and the giant, eager to get close. But after the disastrous start to their Waaagh!, Ramgut wasn't going to trust their bone-headed boss to do anything right. If they were going to win this battle, he would have to take charge.

Calling upon the power of Mork, he sought out the pointy-eared spellsinger who led the Wood Elf army. Ramgut saw the elf's surprise as crackling Waaagh! energy appeared in front of her and formed the shape of a grinning orc's head.

Lessons Learned...

After a chat with Stylus, we're proposing the following alterations for next time:

1) A massacre, as a 'special' win, is only 2.5 pts rather than 3.
2) A grudge-match, as a 'special' bonus, is only 0.5 pt rather than 1.

This would have no effect on the table positions of WfBt7 but *slightly* narrows the gap at the top which might be desirable in the future.

Additionally,

3) Sticking with 1000pts for WfBt8
4) Generals may, optionally, bring *multiple* 1k lists and randomly select one at the start of each battle.

This keeps the battles short and sweet (unless you've drawn me, of course) but allows generals to try out several new lists without putting all eggs in one basket.

Daemons vs Warriors

K'zak, fresh from the glorious battle and massacre of the orcs, was feeling confident and marched the horde into the centre of the field again.

The cannon and Bloodcrushers took one flank, although the crushers were poised to head towards the ogres in the centre of the line, rather than around the outside.

The small unit of heavily-armoured warriors, led by their sorcerer lord, made station behind a wooden fence; the dragon ogres hid behind a forest; the ogres snarled and faced off against the horde; and on the right wing, war hounds and horsemen skipped forward uncontested.

Savage Orcs vs Daemons: the Skull Swapmeet

The horde of red daemons spread from one one end of the hill to the other. Next to it, a bizarre cannon appeared to be cruising around on the back on a weird chariot. On the far flank, three massive juggernauts pawed at the ground.

Bonekrunk Stonespitter licked his lips. His tribe were used to krumping tribes of nomadic humans in the dustlands of their home. This looked to be an altogether tougher prospect.

"Maybe give this one a miss, boss?" asked Grunt, the standard bearer of his Big 'Uns.

"Yer cowardly, git!" Bonekrunk spat back, adding a tap with his axe for good measure. "Dey is nuffik but a load of pansy imps! And we ain't missing out on that stunty bonanza!"

Unexpected Guests

For what it's worth, my army selection for the Woffboot would have gone as follows.

The U.N.

Command           

Baeloth the Unadorned 

Level 2 Chaos Sorceror with the Lore of Death, mounted on a Gorebeast Chariot and equipped with a Talisman of Endurance and Chaos Familiar- 330

Core                      

The Undaunted 

20 Chaos Warriors with shields, full command and a Gleaming (if Black) Pennant - 335

The Doom of Gazarkhame

Gorri Slatebreak set his heavy pack down and mopped his sweating brow with a blood-stained gauntlet. Behind him, the rest of the Ironbreakers moved into position, their grim faces crowded with determination. They were close now. Too close to give in to failure. 

They were exhausted, whittled down to a few survivors. The eerie stands of stone trees that sprouted everywhere in the dim caverns of Gazarkhame had taken their toll. Gorri had seen Dwarves turn into prancing, poetry-spouting lunatics, hugging the granite boles of the carvings as they capered. Those who'd managed to keep their brains from melting had been ambushed by Skaven, set upon by orc savages and stalked by lurking horrors from beyond. 

Those who were left were a vicious elite, determined to see their job done. And now they were here, finally, in the very deepest foundations of the hold. He glanced over across the the final cavern, a stony expanse of shadowy, tree-lined rock that could hide any number of foes. The two great foundation pillars stood proud in the centre, both carved with heart-sickening root and leaf emblems that spiralled upwards to the basements of the hold above. At least the stones at the base gave them a bit of cover, even if they'd been carved to look like roots and ferns.

The other engineer team was in position. What was left of their other forces were scattered through the cavern, hurriedly finding ambush positions or setting traps. There wasn't much time. 

Gorri knelt by his pack, adjusting the straps and quickly checking the contents. Fifteen sealed packets of the finest black powder, linked by fuses and primed with blasting caps. It was good to go, he just hoped he had enough time to set the packets into position. If they could destroy even one pillar, Gazarkhame would perish.

They would be too, of course. It was a suicide mission. But they'd all known that before they came. Gazarkhame had to be destroyed at any cost.

"Here they come!" hissed Duthri, grabbing his crossbow pointing out into the darkness. Gorri looked up - sure enough, shadowy forms were flitting from tree to tree in the outer limits of the cavern. "Gods, they're all round us! They're in the trees!"

Gorri narrowed his eyes, ground his teeth and then hefted the pack. Trees. Drong damn them, he'd see them all shattered or die trying. 

"Bring 'em all down!" he yelled, and scrambled into the thicket of stone roots.

The Doom of Gazarkhame is a Warhammer Narrative Battle Scenario for 2 or more players. 

New! 

Exciting! 

Completely Unplaytested!

Filler Night

Okay, not all fillers. In fact, only a couple. I'm new to the idea of unit fillers, but I'm already a fan. Adding levels or a sense of spectacle to a unit seems like a great idea, although it's almost certainly out of my scope and price range for now. But I have a few ideas, including the possible use of some Hobbit scenery. We'll see, though, I don't want to chop that up on a whim.

The goblin cut short what would have otherwise been a pleasantly long walk on the short pier.

But in terms of having a few decorative options, I keep running into this guy from the Bag of Limitless Minions: - 

Remember when this was even an option?

A survivor of my copy of Battle Masters, which probably deserves a nostalgic column itself at some point, this guy is a Marauder Bowman. The punk look died with the army list option, thankfully. Not amazing miniatures, but they've got a lot of character, somehow. I'd already painted this one, but he was very pasty. A quick lick of paint improved things no end, other than his face. His blurry, hideous face. 

Frown of concentration or dreadful 80s  'tache?
You decide.

Who's Da Boss?

(or, if you're reading this in the UK, circa 1991: "The Upper Hand")

Despite having a considerable amount of Savage Orcs to paint up, it became apparent very early on that I had no model that would make a suitable Warboss (putting half my command models on chariots probably didn't help that).

I know it is heresy to spend your money anywhere else than GW, but their only representation for a brutal chieftain of a barbarian tribe was this twinkle-toed prancer...

Tr-la La-la-lally!

Preferring my Warbosses to have both feet on the ground, I looked elsewhere, and discovered a rather splendid 'Orc Brute' from the Avatars of War range (it's no Mantic Games, where you can pick up massive numbers of troops at a good price - but the character models are superb).

Behold my treachery.

Hobbitual Rantings

 More hobbitry, in lieu of a fevered run-up to the Woffboot. Although I am also working on a few more odds and ends for my Chaos Army, just so I can legitimise the army I might have fielded.

In the meantime I bring you these two doughty chaps: -

Milli

Vanilli

With them is their little-known, non-copyright-infringing spellcaster. I did consider various other incarnations - Fandolf the Fawn, Tandolf the Tan or even Rambolf the DP Overalls. But novelty will only get you so far.

Greendolf the Green
(No relation)

Abracamagna

"Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts..."

1. The Pledge

Despite my previous adventures in magnetism, attaching detachable elements to my chariots proved to be a very different prospect than gluing a couple of magnets to plastic bases and letting them stick to rubber steel.

To begin with, I had to attach N42 magnets (3mm) directly to the models. This meant drilling a hollow into their feet - or both feet, in the case of the spear-wielding bosses (bigger and more unstable, in the best orky tradition)

"The magician shows you something ordinary. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course... it probably isn't."

Since the hole was too large for my slow and steady hand drill, I had to use a power drill and hope for the best (i.e. make a new foot from greenstuff when I drilled too far).

After drilling the model's feet, I glued the magnets in there. They stuck out a bit, as there wasn't enough foot to contain a whole magnet, but that suited me, as I reckoned it would be stronger to 'peg' into the hole anyway.

Da Jalopies

"Da ladz wot drive da Jalopies 'ave sum funny ideas about usin' new teknolurgy. Dey calls it 'Da Wheel'. No respekt for tradishun."

Da Streaky Wheelz

"Da ladz paint two stripes on da boarz, cos it reminds dem of streaky bacon. It's also called lean back bacon, 'cept when dey lean back, dey falls out of da chariot! Hur hur hur."

"Also, da parallel lines iz symbolic of infinity in Projective Geometry. Waaagh!"

Piggy Ho!

Savage orc chariot number one is finished.

WoffBoot VII imminent

WoffBoot VII imminent... 

Less than 2 days until WoffBoot VII starts. So I thought I would rehash Stylus’s original post with the final posting and also try and get an idea of timing of arrivals (for food and game potential).

Dates: 26th-28th April

Open House

• Friday - starts at noon (for those who can) 0-2 battles each?
• Saturday - full day 2-4 battles each?
• Sunday - concludes at noon 1 battle each?

Expected Arrivals (colours imply my certainty based on prior conversations):

• Kasfunatu – Hmm, I wonder
• Stylus – 2pm Friday
• East - 2pm Friday
• Reinbowarrior - 8pm Friday
• Leofa – 8pm Friday
• Yalfrezi – 12pm Saturday

Busta, Da Big Green

"Busta iz Da Big Green. 'Ee prayed to Mork to make 'im da bestest of all da orcs, an' when 'ee woke up, 'ee was da biggest. 'Cos biggest means bestest, dunnit."

"Da ladz gave 'im lots of different orky glyphs for his warpaint, which iz symbolic of the Epicurean principle of Atomism. Waaagh!"

It's been a while since I painted him, but I finally got a flocking move on put some basing on my Giant orc.

Charioty Begins At Home

So many chariots popping up on this blog, it's starting to look like Joe's Used War Machines Yard...

High quality maiming at low, low prices!

I've been dallying with the idea of a Savage Orc Boar Chariot ever since I made that fateful decision to beef up my original army. Online opinion seems to be divided at such a thought: the majority seem to think that complex war machines (such as the Wheel) are unsuitable for stone-age savages. Whereas I think chariots represent an appropriate level of tech for a pre-iron age tribe.

And should I cast my mind back to my War (What Is it Good For) Studies (Absolutely Nuthin') BA degree, I would say that chariots appeared as tools of warfare long before cavalry did. So if you can have Savage Boar Boyz, you can damn well have Savage Boar Chariots.

(So there you have it: three years of university education to produce the same level of understanding as Civilisation III)

Convertible 2 - Revenge of the Horsemen

But wait while I finish these dwarves first.

Shoddi

Noddi

The Cast of Labyrinth

Here are some goblins: -

Green ones this time, for a change

Snot green undercoat, drakenhof blue shading,
goblin green and rotting flesh highlights

Also Advertises Corn Niblets

Despite my scepticism of General Kraken's last WoffBoot army, I've come to think that a Giant could be a useful addition to my Savage Orcs.
(So yes, I basically eating my words here. Mmmm... adjectives.)

Much as I like the new Giant model, there are already two of them knocking around the armies of the WoffBoot, and adding another would make them look like a particularly unattractive tribute to The Rockettes.

Kick those legs up, girls.

Moreover, I've tried hard to steer clear of red/pink in my green/brown themed army, so a huge pale-flesh centrepiece (i.e. the Giant model I already have) would spoil that. The only thing for it - I needed to field a giant orc!

Painting Masterclass

People often ask me, "General Stylus, how do you keep maintain that copper-oxide, just-showered look for your hair?"

And as I rummage through my bag of Avon products, the conversation turns to the painting and sculpting of miniatures.

I haven't posted any painting updates for almost a month, and now I can reveal why: I've been working on painting a set of 40K Orks to the highest possible standard, so that I can now share these techniques with you.

Feast upon these pearls of wisdom. I know you'll find them useful.

Pro Tip 1
There is much talk about drybrushing and highlights, but if you stick to three or four really strong colours, you can get a professional look with just one heavy coat of paint.

Adding light and shade? That's what the sun is for!