We can do this all day!
Avengers vs Criminal Syndicate
You want to know when a franchise has hit rock bottom? Look for the spin-offs. Joey when he had no Friends. The Tortellis when the Cheers had stopped. Mrs Columbo. And now the West Coast Avengers. The Mayflower stopped on the East Coast of our fair land first for a lot of good reasons, just remember that.
Soon as they show their second-rate squad here in New York, who comes crawling out of the woodwork to greet them? It’s no coincidence that it’s some of the lowliest scum to stink up our streets. Like attracts like, after all. Sure, they’ll have a big showy bust-up while the public is watching, but we’re not fooled. Afterwards, they’ll all crawl off to the same masked ball to laugh about the damage they’ve done, the damage to our streets, the damage to our nation’s image, the damage to human lives.
You want to know what the true abomination is here? It’s America’s lack of vision in falling for these vultures. That’s what I call a shocker!
J. Jonah Jameson
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Avengers West Coast
Technically, only Wanda was a member of the West Coast spinoff, but we have to distinguish between the
two teams somehow. This team got three-quarters of classic '65 line-up (the first time the team completely revamped its roster, which proved that it could): Captain America (Steve Rogers), Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver. Vision makes up the quartet, as Wanda's synthezoid squeeze.
I, Stylus, will be commanding this fairly elite team, and while they have speed and punch on their side, a couple of losses and their utility will drop sharply.
Team tactics: The Whims of Chaos, Second Wind, Can I Borrow That?, No More Mutants, Battle Plan
Criminal Syndicate
All these guys wanted to do is rob banks, and instead they have to tussle with demigods. But Kingpin makes them a formidable prospect, with his leadership ability to count-as double on objectives and sneak assets to each other, they are going to score well. Of the goons, Shocker is pretty durable, Bullseye is a lethal menace and Vulture has some fantastic movement shenanigans.
The real star is Abomination, who we no longer have to proxy, since he now has his very own card (thank you Atomic Mass Games for the heads-up). It does mean this team is Threat Level 17, compared to the Avengers 16, but we're all friends here.
Speaking of which, we welcome a new contender to the WoffBoot: Rogue-1 will be taking charge of the bad guys!
Team tactics: All According To Plan, Cruel Tutelage, No Mercy, Shadow Organization, Rejuvenation
Deployment
Following the narrative, the first crisis had to be Mayor Fisk Vows To Find Missing Witnesses. Only two objectives to secure, and each worth 2VP each, with the possibility of them throwing out damage and stun effects. This is good for a team that can sit on objectives and tank the damage, and it could be all over in three turns.
Since we're looking after civilians, the second crisis is Panic Grips City As Evacuation Efforts Continue. This awards 1VP for holding a civilian token, which is fairly standard, but with the twist that you can evacuate them (that's the mission's words, not mine) by spending 6 power and immediately score 2VP. So it may be possible to steal a march with some well-timed evacuations.
The Criminal Syndicate line-up is weighted (sorry, Kingpin) to the left flank, with Vulture, Kingpin and Shocker.
Abomination takes centre stage, and somehow Bullseye has been trusted to hold down the right flank.
For the Avengers, Scarlet Witch and Captain America take cover behind a garbage truck on the right flank, with Vision and Quicksilver over on the left.
Criminal Syndicate win the Priority roll, and we're away!
Round 1
The aim of the Criminal Syndicate is people trafficking, and so Shocker begins by running forward, grabbing the nearest Civilian, and retreating back to show the boss what he's done.
Quicksilver does likewise, but being a bit of a show-off, he accelerates over to the other side of the table to grab the Civilian in front of Bullseye. The marksman is less than impressed with this, and chips away half of Quicksilver's damage with his Throwing Knife.
Abomination steams in, prepared to finish off Quicksilver, but the speedster is a slippery thing, and uses his Can't Catch Me to jink out of range. This leave Abomination no other options but to advance onto the Witness objective, which is worth a lot of VP, but not really smashing things.
Vision collects the Civilian token closest to him, and powers himself up with his Synthesis. Scarlet Witch moves across the battlefield to get into range of Abomination, and Captain America grabs the last Civilian token and follows behind, covering her.
Vulture swoops in to secure the second Witness objective, and Kingpin ambles along to supervise.
With both Witnesses in their clutches, plus a Civilian token, it's an early lead for the Criminal Syndicate.
Avengers 3 : 5 Criminal Syndicate
Round 2
With both Witnesses under control of Criminal Syndicate, the Avengers have the option of moving them (representing them 'fleeing'). I shift the left one out of Vulture's reach, so he'll have to work to resecure it, but keep the right one close to Abomination, so he takes a point of damage and the Stun condition.
Avengers get the first turn (the advantage of being the smaller team) and Scarlet Witch wastes no time in blasting Abomination with a Hex Bolt. This performs very well and Abomination is blasted down to a single point of damage. This seems like an opportune moment to throw a kiosk at him with Telekinesis, and Abomination is dazed!
Scarlet Witch even has enough actions left to throw another Hex Bolt at Vulture. He's also taken down to a single point of damage (these poor defence dice!), and so she adds the Bleed condition, meaning he'll drop at the end of his activation unless he does something about it.
Kingpin aims his Cane Laser at Scarlet Witch, but Captain America uses Bodyguard to jump in the way and take two damage himself. Vulture uses half his activation to shake the Bleed condition, and then moves back onto the Witness objective.
Bullseye moves up to flick another Throwing Knife at Scarlet Witch, while Vision sends his Solar Energy Beam through both Kingpin and Vulture. Vulture is dazed, so he didn't last long after all. Vision has also moved onto the other Witness objective, and with no conscious Criminals around, he secures it.
Shocker realises he can't just hang back with this Civilian token, and sprints forward to join the fray. Captain America runs forward onto the Witness objective formerly taken by Vulture and secures it. He also tries to hit Kingpin, but Fisk is a bit too robust for that.
Meanwhile, Quicksilver sprints far away with his Civilian token. He's probably in Connecticut now.
In a shock turn of events, this leaves the Avengers securing both Witness objectives, plus three Civilian tokens.
They jump into a VP lead, but everyone has now gathered in the centre, which is where the Criminal Syndicate like to rumble.
Avengers 10 : 6 Criminal Syndicate
Round 3
With both Witnesses in Avengers' control, it's the Criminal Syndicate's turn to control them - they move them closer to their rescuers, so that Captain America, Scarlet Witch and Vision all take a damage and Stun (ungrateful witnesses!).
Priority would usually pass to the Avengers, and Scarlet Witch is already eyeing up Abomination, but the Criminal Syndicate have a sneaky tactics card to play! All According To Plan, if they can collectively scrape together 10 power (and, with all the damage they've been taking, they have enough) gives Priority to Criminal Syndicate. Yikes!
Sure enough, it's Abomination who activates first, and he's under no illusions about his main threat. He hammers Scarlet Witch with Gamma Bomb attack, but unbelievably manages to inflict no damage on her. He follows up with the more traditional method of throwing a portacabin at Scarlet Witch, taking her down to a single point of damage, and then dazes her by with some Hurl Debris. Scarlet Witch is down before she can activate, but that felt like it took too much to get there.
Vision is next up, playing the Second Wind tactics card that allows all the Avengers to remove Stun and regain a point of damage. He then zaps Kingpin and Vulture once more with his Solar Energy Beam, dazing Kingpin, and follows up by throwing a car at Bullseye, taking him down to his final wound.
Vision has enough power stored up to evacuate his Civilian, so is able to bank 2VP, with nothing the Criminal Syndicate can do about it!
Now consciously chasing the game, Shocker runs forward and grabs one of the Witness objectives. Captain America is next, backing up to make certain of the other Witness objective and dazing Bullseye with a shield Strike for good measure.
Quicksilver is just doing cardio now, running back and forth and keeping hold of his Civilian. This leaves Vulture as the last activation - he needs to daze Captain America so he'll drop his Civilian token, or it's all over. Sadly, the Raptor Strike doesn't even scratch the vibranium shield, and it's all over.
The Criminal Syndicate get 3VPs, all courtesy of Shocker, but with a Witness, two Civilians and an evacuated Civilian, the Avengers hit the 16VP mark and victory.
Avengers 16 : 9 Criminal Syndicate
Back at the Bullpen
Well, that was quick and brutal! I wasn't surprised by the speed, since I reckoned the Avengers were going to win this crisis quickly, or not at all. But the amount of damage they were able to inflict on the Criminal Syndicate was really surprising.
I think a lot of this comes down to the luck of the dice (at times, Rogue-1 had the most appalling rolls) but, as often with Crisis Protocol, the sequence of who attacks when can make a big difference. Losing Abomination right before he could go to town at close range was huge (and his fairly lacklustre third round didn't help either). In a previous game, I'd experience something similar with Scarlet Witch - and you do need the high-threat characters to perform consistently.
For the Avengers, I think they worked out pretty much as planned. I rode my luck a little bit with Quicksilver's early gambit, but it was worth it to deny the enemy an easy objective, and then rack up 3VP subsequently (despite him appearing to do nothing for the rest of the game). Captain America started off well with his mission to protect Scarlet Witch, although it's telling that the first time he strays out of range, she gets dazed. Scarlet Witch herself was an immense menace, and can really lay down the hurt. Vision did nicely too - his main actions were to gain power and beam bad guys, but if it had continued to the late-game, he was on full health and very potent.
Generally, I think this is a good team to benefit from Captain America's leadership (reducing the cost of the first superpower each turn), as there is a lot they can do, and quite cheaply too. That said, having characters that can soak up a lot of damage (and therefore, power) makes the All According To Plan a must-have for a large Criminal Syndicate squad. I had thought it would be too costly, but it can really come in handy in a pinch.
And with that, we conclude the qualifying rounds of the Marvel Knockout! Eight teams out, eight teams through - and we're onto the quarters with no delay!
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Must this season of senseless smashing continue? Whichever of these witless wonders claims a win, we all know who loses. That's right - Joe Taxpayer, always stuck with footing the bill. Don't expect anything more than the usual sycophantic cries of 'But they're our heroes!' from City Hall. They'll be lapping this up, along with their pals in the construction industry.
How long, New York? How long until we shake off our stupor and rise up, slapping these serial killers and psychopaths behind bars, where they all so richly belong? Too long already with too long still to come, that's my fear. Prove me wrong!
J. Jonah Jameson
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