Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Adeste Astartes

+++Begin Transmission+++
Encryption Level - Inquisitorial
Authorised: Inq. Kris Cringdark
Hereticus Santanicus
Classified and Secure under Project Jingle
Watchword: In the Mince Pieness of the Festive Season, There is Only Mulling Spice


O come all ye Space Wolves
Crimson Fists and Fire Hawks
Come ye, o come ye
To Ultramar
Bring lots of boltguns
And your power armour

We'll blow up lots of xenos
We'll blow up lots of xenos
We'll blow up lots of xenos
Because we can

Blood or Dark Angels
Iron Hands, Lamentors
Maybe the Grey Knights
Or a Deathwatch Team
Even obscure ones
Like the Viper Legion

Not the Sons of Horus
Or other filthy traitors
Don't talk about those bastards
Just blow them up

Retake morale checks
Reroll all our misses
See how we shrug off hits
With armour saves
Eye of Terror?
More like Eye of Schmerror.

But we're not overpowered
No we're not overpowered
We're so not overpowered
You're just a noob

+++Transmission ends+++

Bretonnia vs Nurgle: The Noble Rot

The second battle I fought with my borrowed Deamons of Nurgle army was against General East's newly-acquired Bretonnians. Having been comprehensively thumped in the first game against General Kasfunatu, I would surely have racked up enough experience to defeat my old nemesis...

Shut up, Magic 8-Ball
(usual disclaimer: this report is my best recollection, although I seem to have misplaced a couple of turns. This game did go the full six, but there was some hesitant manoeuvring that time has since erased)

Daemons of Chaos (Nurgle)

  • Daemon Prince of Nurgle (General, Level 3)
  • Herald of Nurgle (BSB, Lv 1)
  • Epidemius, Tallyman of Nurgle
  • 27 Plaguebearers
  • Beast of Nurgle
  • Beast of Nurgle
  • Beast of Nurgle
  • 3 Plague Drones
-1600pts

Bretonnians

  • Paladin (General, some kind of Killing Blow skill)
  • Paladin (BSB, some kind of Multiple Wound skill)
  • Damsel, (Lv4 Lore of Heavens)
  • Damsel, (Lv2 Lore of Beasts)
  • 7 Knights of the Realm (containing 1 Paladin, 1 Damsel and full command)
  • 7 Knights of the Realm (containing 1 Paladin, 1 Damsel and full command)
  • 6 Knights Errant
  • 20 Peasant Bowmen
  • 1 Trebuchet
-1600pts

Sunday, 22 December 2013

Höbbit

Another late battle report, this. So some things that should not have been forgotten won't be lost, etc etc.

While General Kas was over in the summer, we cracked open The Hobbit for an evening's entertainment. Not the film! That would have made entertainment impossible.

Masters of the tabletop as we are, we were able to fit in one round of each of the introductory scenarios that come with the rules. These gradually introduce variant weapon rules, special actions, morale, magic and so on. They aren't bad, although some of them seem to have a distinct bias in how they play out.

Kasfunatu took the roles of Thorin and Company throughout; I stayed on my usual side of the Good/Evil divide and took Goblins.

No photos or maps for this, I'm afraid, you'll have to use the power of your imaginations. I was recently reminded how much we do that in our hobby anyway. During a game of George R R Martin's A Game Of Thrones The Board Game (2nd Edition) - the title is at least a quarter of the boxed weight - we were having a fierce political debate on who would be the next holder of the Iron Throne.

"It's just a piece of cardboard," observed one player, a novice to the whole board games thing. He went on to lose, obviously.

Friday, 20 December 2013

Nurgle vs Nurgle: Bored of the Flies

It's that time of year when we all delight in seeing a jolly fat man who brings gifts for all.

Greater Daemon of Nurgle as Santa Claus
If you think that's disgusting, wait until Slaanesh comes down the chimney,

Paying a visit on Casa Kasfunatu, I partook in a couple of OffBoot games with Generals Kasfunatu and East (and my God, was it really January when I last did that?). Wanting to branch out from my traditional army selection, I was fortunate enough to be loaned a Daemon army to field.

I took the Nurgle faction, as they're my Chaos god of choice (and not because I hear they make the hardest list).

Daemons of Chaos (Nurgle)

  • Daemon Prince of Nurgle (General, Level 3)
  • Herald of Nurgle (BSB, Lv 1)
  • Epidemius, Tallyman of Nurgle
  • 27 Plaguebearers
  • Beast of Nurgle
  • Beast of Nurgle
  • Beast of Nurgle
  • 3 Plague Drones
-1600pts

Facing them was General Kasfunatu with his newly-acquired Warriors of Chaos army, the core of which were Warriors of Nurgle - so it was to be a dust-up at the Weightwatchers club.

Warriors of Chaos

  • Chaos Warrior Lord (General)
  • Herald of Slaanesh (BSB, Hellstrider)
  • Festus the Leechlord
  • 16 Warriors of Chaos (Nurgle)
  • 5 Hellstriders
  • 5 Chaos Hounds
  • 5 Chaos Hounds
  • Chimera
-1600pts



Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Heroquest - 25th Anniversary

I don't mind that Doctor Who is celebrating 50 years. It always seemed so established that it was just waiting for milestones to be checked off.

But has it really been 25 years since Scott and Charlene walked down the aisle to the heartbreaking tunes of Angry Anderson? Yes, it has: Scott and Charlene from Neighbours are now celebrating their Silver Wedding Anniversary, and if that doesn't make you feel old, here's another:

It has been 25 years since I saw this commercial on telly, and knew what was going at the top of my list to Santa*.

*Yes, that would make me 10 years old at the time. Yes, I still believed. I have a vivid and magical imagination. Go and watch The Polar Express and stop looking at me like that.


Let's just dwell on that memory:
  • Christopher Lee is narrating. Because of course Christopher Lee is narrating.
  • Why does the child with the Broadsword card sound like Clive Owen?
  • The player line-up doesn't match the ones of my experience (several family members dragged to the Boxing Day table, humouring me, dozing off or just complaining loudly)
  • I think the 'Fire of Wrath' caster's voice is about to break.
  • At the end, the kid in the DM chair becomes a monster (making it the most accurate disclaimer ever added to a commercial).

I still have my trusty Heroquest set (plus Ogre Kingdom expansion), although most of the furniture has been pillaged for spares, and some vandal has daubed all the miniatures with a crude enamel paint.

However, I now learn of a Kickstarter campaign to create a Heroquest 25th Anniversary Edition that looks absolutely cracking. I've never been led down the crowd-funding games route before, but at around £55, I might very well be tempted by this.

For no other reason that to atone for my very first paint job...

Heroquest painted minitures
"What have we become?"


Thursday, 7 November 2013

Wood Elves, ready for tournament

Hi all, Hope you are all well.

Here is my painted Wood Elves, ready for a tournament in December.

Hope to see you all soon.




Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Offboot 9 - The Dice Strike Back

I haven't kept a close track of how many Offboots there have been. But I do know it was high time I took part in one. After all, no point in having a chaos army if it doesn't go a-chaosing. 

This is what you get if you look for images of Offboot on Google.

I managed to take advantage of a paid work trip to steal a march up to MK, home of the Woff and Off Boots, and challenge the mighty hoards of General Kasfunatu to a swift 1600 point bout. Once we'd eaten a pleasant but dubious curry, partaken of the delights of Egyptian Laser Chess and soaked in the hot tub for three hours, anyway. Not that swift, really.

Warriors of Chaos

I immediately forfeit any claim to be using my own army. Ryanair baggage restrictions just couldn't hack a tub of minis, the cheap sods. Luckily, Kas has all the chaos troops you could possibly imagine, so I put together a list very unlike what I actually own. 

Demon Prince of Khorne (Acid blood, firebreath, wings)
Exalted BSB (horse, banner of improved battle results, shield)
Chaos Horseror (level one lore of Death, horse)
10 Horse Marauders
10 Horse Marauders
5 Knights (ensorcelled weapons)
1 Slaughterbrute (linked to the DP)
1 Chariot (the only Counts As model, played by a warshrine)

So it's a mobility-themed army, the very opposite of my massy blocks of troops back home. 

Vampire Counts

Kas had a number of premade armies, and having helped me build mine up, randomly rolled to see which one he got. I breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't score the Ogres, but it turned into a fatalistic groan when he drew this lot instead: - 

Vampire General (level three, relatively killy upgrades that include reducing enemy leadership)
Vampire BSB (comparatively naked Vampire with banner of better battle resolution)
2 Banshees (to take advantage of that reduced leadership)
28 Ghouls (to carry the Vampires around in)
5 Hexwraiths
5 More Hexwraiths
Another 5 Sodding Hexwraiths

Well goody. Goody goody gumdrops. Gummy gummy hexwraiths. Bah. I have precisely two units that can hurt them, maybe three if the wizard gets some missiles. This should be unpleasant.

Anniversary Gift

Last weekend was the 3rd Anniversary for Mrs Stylus and myself. According to Ancient Lore (wikipedia), the third year is the Leather Anniversary, so it would be normal to expect some kind of belt, or wallet, as my anniversary gift...

Leather dice cup and D6 dice.
... but seriously, what use is a belt or a wallet?

That's about as close to gaming as I get these days, but I'm hoping for a 'Woffnaissance' (or perhaps a 'Re-Boot') in the new year.

Monday, 21 October 2013

Code Magpie

This weekend I partook in a 40k version of a WoffBoot arranged by Reinbowarrior.

My army of choice was Daemons, still reeling from the unlikely generosity of GW by allowing to have two armies for the price of one, I was determined to get some additional use from them.

I had, prior to the weekend, played 4 games of 40k in its current incarnation. Prior to that I remember a couple of games on the floor of Amen court with Kraken, which must make it about six or seven years ago!

My first game, I had been leant Reinbowarrior’s elite Terminator only deathwing – they beat his own Tyranid force.  For my second game, I took a large contingent of my own Nurgle forces and took down the Dark Angels showing them a beating they had never seen before (I had a lucky storm of chaos roll which made the librarian’s head explode, and a herald of knorne taking his place, in turn one). My third game was an abysmal offering from Tzeentch against ‘nids. I setup badly, misplayed the rules for combat and powers (both to my deficit) and got utterly trounced. Finally I took Khorne, and once my units had deep struck in had done enough damage for Reinbowarrior to concede the game (although time also played a part)….  So having won 3 of 4 games (or 2 of 3 with daemons) I was feeling buoyed for the campaign.

Friday, 20 September 2013

Double the tentacles, quarter the price

Wibble wibble.

Okay, I didn't actually count all the tentacles. But I'm sure I'm giving the official Mutalith Vortex Beast a run for its money. I'm helped in this by the twin facts that it can't run, being a model, and it costs far too much.

Friday, 30 August 2013

A Game of Cards

Winter is Trumps
General Kas was over for a few days last weekend. And so began a new era in the dark tales of our mutual nerdery, once I'd introduced him to the local Science Fiction Bookshop. It has an epic level basement full of comics, movies, GW products and FF board games.

Of course, we got carried away.

Woooo! Board games!

Despite calling itself George R. R. Martin's A Game of Thrones The Card Game, I suspect he did very little to develop it. Other than write all the fluff, I suppose.

Thursday, 22 August 2013

Miscing in Action

Been a while! Only a year ago, this blog thrummed with the preparations for the summer Woffboot. How the times change with the size of our families.

The gorgeous summer weather in Sweden inspired me, as it always does, to stay indoors with my back hunched over a stifling table of paints. Besides, I felt I couldn't let August go by without some painty blogging.

With no particular project on my mind at present, I did a round-up of random models from the many cupboards and bags of my collection, and came up with a very assorted bunch of models.


Things you don't expect your wife to say No. 1

"Oh, you've finally painted that eagle I bought you."

To which the only possible rejoinder is "Actually, *nerdy snort*, I think you'll find that's a warhawk, *snork snork*."
Some joker killed its parents, now it's a masked vigilante.

For now, I've left the rider off, because I don't like the model very much. I mean, he's held on by vines? That magically grow on the back of the hawk? Really, it's scarcely plausible. I can't paint something that breaks my suspension of disbelief so casually. Plus I can't find the head in my bits box.


Golden Oldie

Nice Beaver Man
Bonus points if you know exactly what it's meant to be. I don't. Some kind of centaur otter, maybe? An Ottaur, if you will. A Ral Partha piece from the mid-80s, I believe, this and its two sword-wielding brethren were my brother's.

Friday, 12 July 2013

A Song of Tea and Sushi 4 - A Dance of Daimyos

It Checks Out




After the last battle, Clan Hatano immediately offers peace. So do my old foes the Hatakayama, who have never bothered to try and reclaim the territory I stole from them. And then a few other clans unexpectedly cave in to my wearily repeated trade offers. I've proved my worth as an opponent, the other clans are starting to take me seriously, maybe. Or they're bored, or perhaps desperate for cash themselves.

My stealth bastard fleet is already on its way by this time.

Thursday, 11 July 2013

A Song of Tea and Sushi 3 - A Klash of Katanas

All Alone in Feudal Japan

Tactical analysis suggests I'm going to lose in the long run. Tom has secured a powerful base to the extreme West, out of my reach. Nobody I can get on the diplomacy phone will listen to my offers of coin or military aid to attack him. Nor will anyone consider being my pal. I can probably hold tight where I am, I'm a wily enough general and still have some fairly experienced and powerful armies that can hold what I've taken so far. But I'm not going to get any further without cash.

So my plan is to put all my eggs in one basket, and let tactical analysis go and suck on them.

Like this, but with bow-armed fanatics. 

The scout ship that's been looking over General Hunt's Otomo forces has shown me one critical weakness. His capital province, Bungo, isn't on any of his front lines. It looks like he's spent all his cash on large armies, rather than investing heavily in infrastructure like I have. Bungo is held only by a pretty basic castle and a couple of units of Ashigaru spearmen.

If I stop any attempts at expansion back home and cull my two armies down to two smallish defence forces, I can put together a decent invasion force full of elite monks. Led by my Shogun and a decent-sized fleet, I may just be able to launch a cowardly surprise attack and take that one crucial province from my rival.

It's a long shot, but it just might work.

Wednesday, 10 July 2013

A Song of Tea and Sushi 2 - A Feast on Futons

The Early Ikko Years



I begin my plan for domination by making polite overtures to the clans to my West. They're all very rude back, but at least none of them actually attack me. This is the softly-softly approach, be all sweet so they suspect nothing then just as they're BAM invasion hah surprised you.

To the East, I do the opposite. I crush the minor clan Jinbo and turn them into a vassal state. They occupy a province that blocks advances from two of my more powerful neighbours - the horse-crazy Takeda and the buddhist nutters of Uesugi. As a vassal, they have to trade with me, and they'll act as a handy early warning system if either of the bigger clans starts expanding.

My other neighbours are the Hatakeyama. They're a minor clan, but a fairly big and powerful one. Luckily, their other provinces are all on the other side of the map. Poor planning on their part - it means I can grab this one and hope they get wiped out before their revenge armies can reach me.

All these gambits work pretty well. My home territories sprout new harbours and larger castles, and within three years I'm on my way to getting the monks trained up. I've doubled my starting holdings without any major setbacks.

Except one.


Tuesday, 9 July 2013

A Song of Tea and Sushi 1 - A Game of Folding Stools

I've been re-reading George MaR.R.R.tin's epic saga after the conclusion of series 3 of the TV adaptation, and it got me hankering for an epic saga of my own. Luckily, the excellent General Hunt was also spoiling for a sweeping tale of war, betrayal and conquest. This being the age it is, a fine one to be a nerd in, we turned to Shogun 2: Total War, the most recent in the splendid series of games that inspired this campaign in a previous post.



Nothing Warhammery or miniaturey in this tale, be warned. My painting hand is on break until it stops shading goblins in its sleep.


The Setting

Shogun 2 allows you to take the role of a warlord in 16th century Japan. It is the Sengoku Jidai, The Warring States Era. This was an age of civil war, when the old and corrupt Emperor struggled to keep order over restless and power-hungry clans. Bristling with period-appropriate art and detail, the game gives you control of diplomacy, espionage, armies, navies and fortresses. And most importantly, ninjas.

Tom and I decide to play a head-to-head campaign. This means that the victory conditions aren't quite the same as the full campaign. There, you need to overthrow the Emperor for victory, usually standing against everyone else in the realm when they realise you mean to take over.

Here's what we're fighting over. 

For us, victory will be given to the last man standing. You lose if your opponent can take your home territory whilst still controlling his own, or if the many computer opponents wipe you out. Simple survival, more or less.

Wednesday, 26 June 2013

The Gang's All Here

Done!

Turquoise Goblins
(Camo green base, Drakenhof Nightshade shading, Skink Blue highlights)

Blue Goblins
(Altdorf Blue base, shade and highlight as above)

The little albino guy on the right is another character, a goblin captain,
so he got his own personal colour. The fluff states that small ones are more vicious.
Naturally, I missed a trick by not painting it orange.
This particular blue one, by the way, is rapping.
Taste the Rainbow of Fruit Goblins
Left to Right: Wild Spearmint, Arctic Raspberry, Sour Apple, Crazy Lime,
Lemon Blast, Fruits of the Forest, Festive Cranberry and Watermelon Explosion.

Monday, 17 June 2013

Three's Company

Accelerating towards the end of the box of Hobbitoids, I have now got all the dwarves done.

Winkin

Blinkin

Nod

Mural's Avengers

Painting the nursery walls. A little more two-dimensional than miniatures, but this is why I haven't posted any army progress for the last month or so...

Spider-Man mural
Webslinging his way across the changing mat.

Captain America mural
"A is for America."

Saturday, 15 June 2013

Don't Fear the Reaper

Another quicky, this. From time to time, I visit the Reaper Miniatures page to check out new releases and pretend to toy with the idea of buying new models. I hadn't for a while, but when I did, boy was I surprised.

They're currently going through what seems to be the entire catalogue of models and doing something GW should take note of - turning all their old metal stock into cheap resin casts. I can't speak for the quality of the resin, but looking at pictures of stuff I own copies of, it looks pretty impressive. And it's about a third of the price.

Anyone interested in giants, monsters or dragons should definitely look at the latest stuff, it's extremely affordable! But there's pretty much something for everyone, from cheap tomb guard fillers to space age monkeys with chaingun hands.


A random demon for $13

A red dragon, originally about thirty dollars, now 16
I bought ol' octopus head here for £16, iirc.
Now $6. Dammit.

Thursday, 13 June 2013

The Yolk's on You

What? Nobody has posted a picture of a goblin here in over two weeks? This cannot stand! Lemon goblins! Attack!

A refreshing citrus zing.

 As promised, I am slowly tinting a full spectrum of goblins, with this rather spurious eggy look as the latest. I'm also beginning to run out of goblins. This is good news for everybody.

Quite rightly, they call him Psycho Yellow.

Rhubarb sold separately.

Thursday, 30 May 2013

The Big Red Ones

I'm bored.

They go faster

Rather than continue painting my budding fanfic piece, 'Fifty Shades of Green', I've decided to break the mould and crank out a full spectrum of goblins. Blue and yellow yet to do, with maybe a pink one and an albino one in there somewhere. And turquoise. There will be turquoise.

Scab red undercoat, then layers of warlock purple, blood red and dwarf flesh + blood red highlights.
Hair, weapons and loinclothes as previous, although a little extra highlighting for the leather
to stand out against the red

The end is now in sight for the goblin hoard. There's more paint than plastic in the box now, which feels good. Only if I don't count the huge sheets of scenery, of course, which are as dull and fiddly to paint as you'd expect large expanses of wood speckled with tiny bones to be.

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Harvest Time

Yes, those ripe ears of corn are just ready to glean.

Let's Thresh!
It's another set of marauders, nine more for the Khornate group. That gives me a solid block of twenty, or possibly two smaller units of ten - easy enough to whittle or route, but frenzied flails or great weapons means they'll draw fire or put a crimp in something.

Can barely see past his mace head

Can barely see because of badly painted eyes
As before, they're a crude amalgam of viking, saxon, marauder and random parts. I had Heroquest leftovers after savaging a bunch of bases for the chaos warriors last time round, and I put some of them to good use. Or use, anyway.

Tuesday, 14 May 2013

Slavar av Mörker

Ding Ding!

In round one, the warbands start by facing off against their most hated foes. Khorne v Slaanesh, Tzeentch v Nurgle, offering the most opportunities for the champions to grab some swift Victory Points. They need to amass ten for a Reward, and there's no final conclusion likely until someone has at least six, so I'm keen to keep this fairly fast.

Gorefaust comes out the best in round one. He manages to personally account for all but one of Eirich's beastmen plus Eirich himself. Even though he loses, he comes out with 12 VPs. This earns him a Reward - the Eye of his God! Khorne is watching with interest, much like nobody else in the stands. Vorti scores a ludicrously powerful chaos weapon, a pet demon dog and a Collar of Khorne all in one fell swoop. And a broken arm and a dead Thug, but it can't all be glory.

Eirich has technically won, but earns nothing - he didn't survive until the end himself, his beastmen don't get VPs, two of them are perma-dead with one crippled and Eirich's ribs are broken for a T penalty. This is all fine. I still don't like Slaanesh.

It's a stalemate from the others - Urge is taken out by a bolt from von Triest's staff, but his virtually unkillable Pestigors (T5, W2) wipe the Tzeetnchian band out entirely. Neumann dies of his wounds and is the first knockout; Urge merely loses an arm and therefore ability to use his only weapon. Lucky he's got that killer face, then.

I am not happy about this.
I mean, I'm all for change, don't get me wrong, I just expected something more positive. 

Sunday, 12 May 2013

De Förlorade och De Fördömdas

This is how my brain works when my daughter wakes me up at five in the morning.

"I wish I'd been at the Woffboot the other weekend. Oh look, my old Realms of Chaos books. That gives me an idea."

In the absence of actual battlefields to deploy them on, I felt a deep-rooted, possibly even unhealthy need to partake of some non-video gaming for a change. Neither of the Krakenettes were remotely interested, of course, and despite my evangelical tendencies for gaming, I'm yet to really find any Swedes up for Warhammer. Actually, that's not true, I did find one but he was a fucking loon pot who I'm not particularly desperate to invite into my home.

Yet.

I am therefore playing with myself. Feel free to avert your eyes as I give you, gentlemen, the two-part saga of an unholy yet classic struggle writ large. Behold, four champions of the Dark Gods, locked in battle to become the most potent and powerful of servants - the Demon Prince!


A Window for Rulebooks

I'm using the Realms of Chaos books, so everything contradicts everything else, has no attempts at balancing and uses the Oldhammer rules. Except I don't actually have an Oldhammer rulebook to hand, so I'm sort of playing 8th Ed and adapting on the fly.

First things first - I shall need four warbands, one for each of the Ruinous Powers. To the random dice tables!

Thursday, 9 May 2013

WoffBoot 0

“Primordial Soup In A Cup”

Vs Gob
Vs WE
Vs CD
Vs Dw
TOTAL
Greenskins Utd
-
3
1
3
7
Lorian Forest
0
-
1
3
4
Eastern Northend
1
1
-
1
3
Bearded Albion
0
0
1
-
1

We fought several tournaments before hitting upon the magical (2D5) formula of the WoffBoot. Here is one of then, circa 2001.

It was composed in the form of a football league, hence the football suffixes. We also named the battlefields after football grounds, appropriate the specific race.

Two of the founding WoffBooters took part, along with two other novice generals, whose introduction to WFB was so overwhelming they have never played since.

That's about all I can remember (or as much as my unearthed notes will tell me), other than Leofa's Bull Taurus was frequently described as 'that pink flying cow'.

Tuesday, 7 May 2013

Green Glow the Goblins O

I'm now just over half way through the Hobbit box. This means most of what's left is repeat goblins. Joy.


Another shade of green for these ones - bilious green, with a blue wash and yellow highlights. They've come out kind of skinky, which I like. It's like what happened when Kermit's children started inbreeding.

Games Just Became Less Special

As rumour turns into reality, it appears that the long, slow death of the Specialist Games is being brought to an end by those loveable chaps at the Match Toolshed.

This includes:
  • Necromunda
  • Battlefleet Gothic
  • Epic
  • Mordheim
  • Warmaster
  • Inquisitor

The books and sets have long been out of production, but apparently when the current stocks of miniatures are gone, they will not be replaced.

'Limited' indeed...

Not that they can stop us playing with the games we already have (they can't, can they?) and I for one am still dead keen on a Woffheim/NecroBoot weekend.

But if you were planning on picking up any odds and sods to finish off your collections, you would be wise to do so now (I've already grabbed that House Escher gang I've been planning for decades and never got around to starting - maybe now I will).

And if you feel bad about this turn of events, just remember it was probably your own fault for not buying enough Space Marines.

Monday, 6 May 2013

Cut and Paste

Very quick post - I'm on my way out - but I just read a rather thought-provoking article referenced from a Guardian story and wanted to share.

How long before we can save up together and buy ourselves a printer, learn to use it, and never darken the doors of our dark overlords again? And then sell all our new intellectual property on Kickstarter for a mint, of course.

Sunday, 5 May 2013

WoffGeddon: The Gates of Chaos

In the quiet moments* of WoffBoot VII, once the monosodium glutamate of the Chinese takeaway had overriden our higher brain functions, we began the usual piecrust plans** to stage a large-scale, multi-general battle.

The idea that we were kicking around, passing to and fro, until it reached the stumps*** was to take inspiration from the Great Chaos Incursion, and the collapse of the Northern Chaos Gate.


*shortly before we discussed the rules for deciding draws.

** easily made, easily broken.

*** I'm not so good at the sports metaphors.


It's all very picturesque until your face melts and you grow a tail.

Battle of the Chaos Gate

Most of the fluff around the Great Chaos Incursion deals with individual heroes (Aenarion, Caledor, Grimnir) rather than large-scale battles, so it won't be a faithful recreation, more 'events inspired by'.

Here are some of the materials we have to work with, and some of the ideas we had. Throw whatever you like into the mix - for painting and logistical reasons, this could be at least a couple of years away (an excuse for WoffBoot X maybe?).

Friday, 3 May 2013

Da Tally of Ouch-Makin'

The dust has settled on WoofBoot VII, and once again, I engage in the traditional naval-gazing of my army...

(as opposed to the army-gazing of my navy, which I seldom do)

Bonekrunk Stonesplitter

Savage Orc Warboss

168 points

Battle Honours

Great Eagle, Glade Guard, Dryads, Hell Pit Abomination, Chaos Ogres, Hammerers.

As with the preceding greenskin army, I couldn't resist the temptation to go for full warboss (the model helped swing my decision) and he proved to be something of a mauler in close combat.

While he would be expected to shatter the fragile elves, he also had no trouble taking down Monsters, Monstrous Infantry (single-handed, when there was nothing else for it) or Elite Infantry. You name it, he'd pick up his six S6 dice and pound it to gristle.

... assuming he lived long enough to strike a blow, that is. Poor Bonekrunk died in three of the five battles - two of which were in close combat (I'll overlook the unfortunate final turn when a crossbow volley of five '1's managed to pluck him out the ranks). Both K'zak's killing blow and Queek's barrage of special rules were enough to bring him down - although I think both would have struggled to endure his counter-strokes. So next time, I'd want to look at an Initiative-booster, like the Golden Sigil Sword.

As for his other qualities. I forgot to use his Waaagh! power in all but one of my battles (very bad time to remember a one-off special rule - heading into a crucial fight when the blood's pumping), and I didn't notice his Ld 9, which implies I was passing a lot of tests, making it an invaluable asset.

Final Grade

Bring 'Em On.

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

WoffBoot VII

“Let the Khornucopia commence.”

Vs DoC
Vs WoC
Vs WE
Vs SO
Vs Sk
Vs Dw
TOTAL
-
1
3
3
3
3
13
1
-
0
3
0
3
7
0
2
-
0
3
1
6
0
0
2
-
2
0
4
0
2
0
0
-
2
4
0
0
1
2
0
-
3

Tuesday, 30 April 2013

Savage Orcs vs Dwarves: The Fate of Gazarkhame

Big Pikkle blew gently on the slow match, bringing the burning tip to a bright orange glow. "How long before the charges detonate?" Little Pikkle asked him.

"Grungi alone knows," said Big Pikkle. The dwarven expedition had fought hard to get to the depths of Gazarkhame, suffering many defeats on the way.

Already the warp-spawned daemons controlled the upper levels, having beaten off every other contender. But if the dwarves could seal the entrance to this accursed hold, then their work would be done. It was only a matter of time.

"Holy greenskins!" shouted Little Pikkle. "Orcs!"


"Thrice-cursed savages!" Big Pikkle tore at his beard. The bitterest of their foes had chosen a fine moment to offer battle. He picked up his axe. "I shall lead out the hammerers to delay them. Our war machines will cover us. You must stay and defend the mining tower. Keep out the Grobi until the fuses blow, no matter what."

The Dwarves girded themselves for the final battle. Even at the cost of their lives, Gazarkhame must be buried.

Savage Orcs vs Warriors of Chaos: No Guts, No Glory

Bonekrunk scratched at the stitches around his neck. That stunty treasure couldn't be far off now, and yet another army had turned up to contest for it. In the dank caverns beneath the earth, his Waaagh! had been confronted by...

... well, he didn't know what they were. There was a bit of everything in this army. Marauder horsemen, dragon ogres, armoured warriors, chaos hounds and ogre bulls. No point in trying anything fancy, he decided. Just get stuck in and thump whatever's in front of you.


The chariot and giant both raced forward, eager to start fighting. But Ramgut's lads were dragging their feet again, arguing the toss over something or other. Bonekrunk was having doubts about his shaman's reliability, a feeling that wasn't assuaged when the Shaman suddenly bodged his spell and wounded himself with his own magical feedback.

Monday, 29 April 2013

Savage Orcs vs Skaven: Challenging Times

"Rats," spat Bonekrunk Stonesplitter.

"Wot's da matter?" asked Ramgut, eyeing his warboss for a sign of weakness.

"Rats," Bonekrunk pointed to the far end of the cavern. Two regiments of Skaven had emerged from the side tunnels of the Gazarkhame, almost as if they had been waiting for them.

One of the units was unusually well-ordered and clad in good armour, more like 'ooman soldiers than ratmen. Lumbering out before both troops was a disgusting mass of warped flesh - an Abomination from the dreaded Hell Pit.


"Scared, boss?" Shaman Ramgut was wondering if, once again, he would need to take charge of the Waaagh!

"Stoopid runt!" Bonekrunk clouted the shaman accross the head. "I ain't scared a' no squeaky warpstone-chewers! Now git over to Da Brave 'Arts and hold da flank. I'm taking da lads down the middle."